Introduction

[Tjlarder]

Hi everyone

I am looking after my mum who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year (but has probably been suffering for much longer). My father passed away in 2014 so mum had been on her own for a while. Mum has just turned 80.

I have a tricky situation to navigate with regard to her having a dog. We are just about to rehome one we rescued last year for her who is far too boisterous and strong but also I was increasingly concerned about her caring for the dog properly due the her illness. We have found the dog a lovely new home but obviously this is extremely emotional for mum.

Upon hearing about a new home being found mum immediately asked when we would be getting her a new more suitable dog, she became even more upset when I suggested this would not be immediate hoping to buy some time for her settle into a life without a dog. She’s always had dogs and refuses to consider a small dog - she wants a large dog like she always has had (Labrador) and gets very angry if I push back on this.

Coinciding with this, in the advice of the consultant I am organising companions to be with mum 4 days a week to ensure mum goes out and does things as she has become house bound and retreated into herself making the Alzheimer’s progress more quickly. A lot of change!

Has anyone had a similar situation regarding a dog or other pet and perhaps has some advice about how best to approach this?

 

[Collywobbles]

Hello and welcome.

This might be a case of coming at the situation sideways. Don’t tell her that you’re not getting her another dog. Maybe instead say something like “It’s taking time to find the right one” or “There might be one ready next month” - something along those lines. It depends on how good her recall is.

If she’s likely to remember that you keep putting her off, it might be better to blame “the doctor”. Something like “The doctor says you need to be a bit more more mobile so you can walk it”, or “The doctor says you need to be more steady on your feet so it can’t pull you over when it’s on the lead” or “so you won’t overbalance if it gets excited and jumps up”.

“The doctor” has very broad shoulders in my family, when Mum decides she wants something which is clearly not achievable! She’ll accept the doctor says next week, next month, or when the doctor sees you’re able to walk to the end of the street and back - but then she doesn’t remember having asked before.

 

[Kevinl]

Isn't there a thing where dog owners help out people by taking them plus their dog for a walk, as in the carer supplies the dog for an accompanied walk thing, maybe it's local here but I'm sure I read about it somewhere.
K9 carers or some title like that. K
(and no 9 after my name). K

 

[Tjlarder]

Hello and welcome.

This might be a case of coming at the situation sideways. Don’t tell her that you’re not getting her another dog. Maybe instead say something like “It’s taking time to find the right one” or “There might be one ready next month” - something along those lines. It depends on how good her recall is.

If she’s likely to remember that you keep putting her off, it might be better to blame “the doctor”. Something like “The doctor says you need to be a bit more more mobile so you can walk it”, or “The doctor says you need to be more steady on your feet so it can’t pull you over when it’s on the lead” or “so you won’t overbalance if it gets excited and jumps up”.

“The doctor” has very broad shoulders in my family, when Mum decides she wants something which is clearly not achievable! She’ll accept the doctor says next week, next month, or when the doctor sees you’re able to walk to the end of the street and back - but then she doesn’t remember having asked before.

Thanks - I was thinking along those lines but saying I’d registered and no suitable dogs etc - the doctor is also a good idea. Thank you

 

[Tjlarder]

Isn't there a thing where dog owners help out people by taking them plus their dog for a walk, as in the carer supplies the dog for an accompanied walk thing, maybe it's local here but I'm sure I read about it somewhere.
K9 carers or some title like that. K
(and no 9 after my name). K

I’ll look into this - thank you

 

[Tjlarder]

Hello and welcome.

This might be a case of coming at the situation sideways. Don’t tell her that you’re not getting her another dog. Maybe instead say something like “It’s taking time to find the right one” or “There might be one ready next month” - something along those lines. It depends on how good her recall is.

If she’s likely to remember that you keep putting her off, it might be better to blame “the doctor”. Something like “The doctor says you need to be a bit more more mobile so you can walk it”, or “The doctor says you need to be more steady on your feet so it can’t pull you over when it’s on the lead” or “so you won’t overbalance if it gets excited and jumps up”.

“The doctor” has very broad shoulders in my family, when Mum decides she wants something which is clearly not achievable! She’ll accept the doctor says next week, next month, or when the doctor sees you’re able to walk to the end of the street and back - but then she doesn’t remember having asked before.