Hi, I have never posted on a forum before but I really need some advice.
My Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 years ago whilst in hospital suffering from severe depression and an anxiety disorder. After a 7 month stay in hospital she came home with a care package. Carers in 3 times a day, and her sister, who lives over the road, doing the food. After 18 months her sister had effectively become her full time carer and her own health was failing.
My Mom can barely get around the house on a walking frame. She can just about get herself to the toilet and back but cannot even get herself a glass of water. She has no short term memory but if you only talk to her for 10 minutes or so she can sound competent.
In December I had my Mom's Mental Health nurse, my Aunt's doctor and Social Services (because the paramedics had complained my Mom keeps calling them out for no reason) all telling me my Mom needs to be in a care home. I knew this already, but my Mom had always refused. Social Services got my Mom to agree this time, and I found a place for her a few days before Christmas. I kept my Mom informed throughout the process and she agreed up until I and my partner drove the 200 miles to take her to the Care Home. Amazingly, on the admission day, she agreed to go in. As I have Power of Attorney, I signed the Care Home documentation.
From then on she has screamed about going home constantly. She has tried to bribe staff and visitors to get her home. A few weeks ago the care home got my Mom assessed for a 'Deprivation of Liberty' order. They assessed her as having capacity and therefore was being held in the care home against her will. I was initially informed that a Social Worker would be assigned and a meeting would be arranged to check she would be safe at home, which she isn't, and to find a way forward. The Care Home have been unable to get Social Services to come forward, they suspect it is because my Mom is self funding. The Care Home are now considering serving my Mom notice of eviction.
I can't take my Mom home, because her sister is now too ill to be her carer, care at home was not working, my Mom will not accept 24 hour care and even if she did, I wouldn't be able to sell the house to pay for care if she's still in it. I can't leave her in the care home because currently they are breaking the law by holding her against her will. I don't know where to turn.
I currently feel like giving my Mom what she wants, carers in 3 times a day, giving her a cheque book, relinquishing Power of Attorney and walking away. However, my Mom will not cope at all and everything will fall back onto my Aunt.
Any advice would be appreciated.
My Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 years ago whilst in hospital suffering from severe depression and an anxiety disorder. After a 7 month stay in hospital she came home with a care package. Carers in 3 times a day, and her sister, who lives over the road, doing the food. After 18 months her sister had effectively become her full time carer and her own health was failing.
My Mom can barely get around the house on a walking frame. She can just about get herself to the toilet and back but cannot even get herself a glass of water. She has no short term memory but if you only talk to her for 10 minutes or so she can sound competent.
In December I had my Mom's Mental Health nurse, my Aunt's doctor and Social Services (because the paramedics had complained my Mom keeps calling them out for no reason) all telling me my Mom needs to be in a care home. I knew this already, but my Mom had always refused. Social Services got my Mom to agree this time, and I found a place for her a few days before Christmas. I kept my Mom informed throughout the process and she agreed up until I and my partner drove the 200 miles to take her to the Care Home. Amazingly, on the admission day, she agreed to go in. As I have Power of Attorney, I signed the Care Home documentation.
From then on she has screamed about going home constantly. She has tried to bribe staff and visitors to get her home. A few weeks ago the care home got my Mom assessed for a 'Deprivation of Liberty' order. They assessed her as having capacity and therefore was being held in the care home against her will. I was initially informed that a Social Worker would be assigned and a meeting would be arranged to check she would be safe at home, which she isn't, and to find a way forward. The Care Home have been unable to get Social Services to come forward, they suspect it is because my Mom is self funding. The Care Home are now considering serving my Mom notice of eviction.
I can't take my Mom home, because her sister is now too ill to be her carer, care at home was not working, my Mom will not accept 24 hour care and even if she did, I wouldn't be able to sell the house to pay for care if she's still in it. I can't leave her in the care home because currently they are breaking the law by holding her against her will. I don't know where to turn.
I currently feel like giving my Mom what she wants, carers in 3 times a day, giving her a cheque book, relinquishing Power of Attorney and walking away. However, my Mom will not cope at all and everything will fall back onto my Aunt.
Any advice would be appreciated.