How long can I go without telling my wife she has Alzheimer's?

[Chris100]

My wife says, 'Is there something wrong with me...I haven't done anything wrong', but she is mostly very happy. I warn doctors, nurses beforehand that she does not know. I feel I want to push away the day she accidentally hears her condition.How long can I go without telling my wife she has Alzheimer's?

 

[Andy63]

My wife was told she had Altzheimers by a doctor in a memory clinic. On leaving she burst into tears saying 'I don't want to be a silly women' it broke my heart. But by the evening she had forgotten, that was 7 years ago. So don't worry, I would say don't tell her, no point really?

 

[scotlass]

my husband too was told by the mental health consultant.....but since then he never mentions it..

 

[Izzy]

My husband was also told by the consultant. Afterwards he never mentioned it and neither did I.

 

[Jools1402]

My Mum was officially diagnosed 18 months ago with Alzheimer's. Before she could be given her diagnosis in person by the clinic we had moved her to a care home in another health authority. So the original memory service would not visit. The upshot is she has never been told. I certainly won't tell her - she wouldn't believe me anyway as she thinks she is just fine. I'm glad that she hasn't been told though - her sister died of young onset Alzheimer's and Mum is just terrified of "losing her mind".

 

[Rishile]

When my husband went into the Care Home, the deputy manager went to see him in the morning. She was trying to answer his questions: Why am I here? Where am I? How long do I have to stay? She looked at me and asked me if he was aware of his diagnosis. I said No. She almost screamed at him 'It's because of your dementia'. He just looked at her and said 'I think you've got the wrong person then. I don't have dementia'. He never referred to it again.

Since he has been home I have tried to answer his questions about 'not feeling right'. I have told him he has a problem in his brain that a lot of people have as they get older. He accepts this. A couple of times he has insisted on being told what that problem is. I tell him calmly that he has Alzheimers Disease but he forgets within seconds and it doesn't upset him.

 

[jennifer1967]

i had to break it to my husband twice. once after a gp appt and when the memory clinic diagnosed the problem. they did it over the phone and he couldnt cope with the phone. since then, i have to speak to the medics because he gets confused and panics. i then have to explain what it is and how it will affect him. basically he trusts me to be straight with him.

 

[karaokePete]

My wife was told by the Consultant at the Memory Clinic and in the early years tried to keep the condition at by by being mentally and physically active. During those days she would tell everyone she met that she had dementia.

A good few years have passed and my wife is aware that 'something is wrong', but can no longer put a name to it. She will often ask why she has to take so many pills and I just tell her that she is ill and I'm looking after her. She seems to accept this; maybe because I deliver the news with a hug and a kiss - which both makes her happy and distracts her.

 

[Grannie G]

My husband wasn`t told.

The minute the consultant said he would prescribe Donepezil, I knew but he didn`t realise. As far as he knew he was being treated for memory loss and depression.

Months down the line he asked what was wrong with him and I told him Alzheimer`s. My mother had had Alzheimer's so he knew the name but I`m not sure he saw the connection.

He was then determined to get better. He went to a local herbalist/naturopath and spent a fortune on remedies, He read oily fish was good and ate a tin of sardines every day.

This carried on for months until I think the obsession wore off.

I didn`t discourage anything he wanted to do. The worse was when he seemed to lose hope.