Im a first time poster my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia several years ago,last year she had a major fall at home resulting with a broken neck,bleed on the brain,broken eye socket and broken arm and not expected to survive however she did and was home ten days later it was a nightmare knowing what I know we should have refused to have her home (she lives alone) forward on a year later her dementia has progressed she can no longer cook for herself and has a hot lunch delivered to her she has a am carer to administer meds and one in the evening for the same (carers spend about 15 min) she doesn’t always dress for the weather, sometimes odd shoes she looses keys constantly ,doesn’t always know who we are and has hallucinations believing a family live with her and even sleeping in bed with her which sometimes is distressing for her,we would like her to move to a care home but her social worker says she doesn’t need to be in care so we can’t get the 12weeks funding support until her house sells how do other people manage we are going round in circles sorry for the offload .
How get help regarding care
- Thread starter Camalot
- Start date
Hi Camelot
I cannot offer advice as I really don't know but going through my own experience of being let down by those that should be helping is soul destroying. How can the social worker tell you she doesn't need to be in care, it sounds like she most definitely does.
I took out equity release on my mums home to pay for her private carers but before it all went through I was having to borrow large amounts of money from friends and family as I needed to prove she didn't have capacity and that took forever.
I really don't know how people manage.
Best of luck and I hope someone comes along soon to advise you.
I cannot offer advice as I really don't know but going through my own experience of being let down by those that should be helping is soul destroying. How can the social worker tell you she doesn't need to be in care, it sounds like she most definitely does.
I took out equity release on my mums home to pay for her private carers but before it all went through I was having to borrow large amounts of money from friends and family as I needed to prove she didn't have capacity and that took forever.
I really don't know how people manage.
Best of luck and I hope someone comes along soon to advise you.
Thank you so much for replying and knowing we are not the only one going through this process luckily mum is in her little bubble and doesn’t understand what’s going on thank you again.
Welcome @Camalot
I`m sorry to hear you have such an unsympathetic social worker.
There are key words to use to unsympathetic social workers. If you tell them your mother is a vulnerable adult and at risk, they might think again.
If you are really worried about your mother, keep trying to get her some residential care.
I`m sorry to hear you have such an unsympathetic social worker.
There are key words to use to unsympathetic social workers. If you tell them your mother is a vulnerable adult and at risk, they might think again.
If you are really worried about your mother, keep trying to get her some residential care.
Get in to Adult S/S, ask for a different social worker to come out & assess her- make sure you are there. As another member said use the phrase ‘vunerable adult’ . They should also be doing a CHC assessment followed up with a financial one once assessment complete.
Dementia Crisis in your area & Admiral Nurses are both good for additional advice.
It’s an absolute minefield, and you do have to become a total pain in their backside to get anywhere - at least in our area you do!
Are you claiming for Attendance allowance on her behalf - it’s not means tested.
Have you claimed for disregard of council tax from when she was diagnosed?
So many things I was unaware of until I joined this forum.
Hi @sue31, Another valuable word to use is "safeguarding issue". Note down issues where she obviously is at risk. Also hallucinations are something to talk about as they can lead to delusions and even psychosis.
There's a lady on here doing a study about social workers etc and I said that in my experience they are more interested in saving money for the Local authorities. I found them to be horrendous but they don't like it if you come out fighting and ask them to put in writing that they are happy to take responsibility for their decision.
I felt like I was in the fight of my life over my husband.
There's a lady on here doing a study about social workers etc and I said that in my experience they are more interested in saving money for the Local authorities. I found them to be horrendous but they don't like it if you come out fighting and ask them to put in writing that they are happy to take responsibility for their decision.
I felt like I was in the fight of my life over my husband.
How true! It is a fight to get anywhere. I lodged a formal complaint about mums first one, a very large, aggressive nasty man that barely spoke English was shouting at her because she couldn’t understand him.. They tried to shut me down - soon sorted when I asked if they’d like the camera footage tho - fortunately for them they immediately assigned another who as an absolute angel, she was lovely to mum and literally sorted out all the CHC stuff.
