Help please

[loubo80!]

Hello , I am new here. I did think I was able to cope as I have been caring for my 87 year old mum since 2011 when my father passed away. But sadly I'm not coping. I'm in my 40s and my husband helps me a lot.

Mum has a support worker , she was diagnosed in January but we are still waiting on her brain scan a year and a half later to find out which type of Altzhimers /Dementia she has.



I have been very lucky in the fact she has carers in the mornings so I can now get out an hour for times to my self. But then she is with us 7 days a week the rest of the day until bedtimes. Its putting a strain on our marriage. We don't get any time together. I know she is in the early stages of Dementia and I am finding it very hard. The physical side I don't mind, I never have. I do all her cooking, cleaning, organising of tablets, bills, app etc and take her there. It's the rest. I suffer with mental health problems and sometimes I find that I cannot cope. There has been a lot of tears in the past week. I don't know what to do and have no one to talk to apart from my husband and he works full time.



So I supposed I am on here to find help and hopefully one day I'll be able to help others. I love my mum so much. But there are days I am now just surviving too.



Thanks for listening.

 

[NewbyT]

Hello and welcome @loubo80!

Thank you for making your first ever post and letting us know about your mum's diagnosis. It sounds like things have been very emotional. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling to cope.

I want to let you know that you are in the right place to get support, so well done for reaching out and taking that first step. You'll find lots of understanding and advice here.

 

[loubo80!]

Hello Newby thank you for your kind words😘.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome from me too @loubo80!

I'm so sorry to read aout your mum. It sounds as if you really need more support than your mum having carers in the morning. I wondered if it might be time to ask social services for a re-assessment of your mum's care needs.

I'm really glad you've found this forum as you will certainly find understanding and support here. I also thought you might find it helpful to contact the Admiral Nurse Helpline to talk with someone there -

What is an Admiral Nurse and how can they help?

Dementia UK is a charity that provides Admiral Nurses for families affected by dementia. Call our Dementia Helpline to find out how we can support you.

www.dementiauk.org

 

[loubo80!]

Hello Izzy thank you. She was passed over to the new social work team about a month and a half ago and her support worker is on placement at the moment. She is to Contact us at the start of May so hopefully she will be able to help. Mum refuses to do things for example she would not even go into a care home to give us respite for a week during a holiday period. She carer for her own mum but had brothers and sister to help. There only is me unfortunately.
I might give them a call on Monday to try and explain the situation. I hope your well x

 

[Izzy]

I think a call on Monday would be a good idea - just to keep you in their minds at the very least!

I'm well thank you. 😍