I'm new here. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2019 at the age of 69. He was relatively stable until last year when he was deemed unfit to drive. I'm his sole carer and at the age of 73 I'm finding it hard to cope. I also have mental and physical health issues. It's hard to get away as hubby is scared of being alone. So many problems it would take too long to tell you even if I had the energy. We've been married for 50 years. We are both broken 💔
Hello 👋
- Thread starter KittyG
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- alzheimer's disease
I'm so sorry to hear of your struggle and wanted to say Hello. Writing on the Forum can't mend you but I find it can sometimes be a lifeline and just reassuring to read a friendly message or get some support or valuable advice. I'm probably not the best person to give advice as I am also struggling. Have you have family or friends close by to help out? Have you had any contact with the Alzheimer's organisation - our local person has been helpful to us. Is your husband attending any daytime activities so you could perhaps have a couple of hours to yourself? Have you had contact with Social Services and had assessments? Sorry, I'm sure you have probably thought of all these things, and I know that just thinking about them and trying to organise them takes up so much time and energy. If you haven't already I would see your GP and discuss your health issues to see if they can do something to help. Keep posting.
Hi @KittyG and welcome to the Forum, or community of friendly and helpful members who have experience of many aspects of dementia. You'll find a lot of understanding and support here which I hope will help you.
I was sole carer for my wife for several years before and after her Alzheimer's Disease was diagnosed. I know how hard and all consuming it can be. This site helped me tremendously with good ideas and support. It led to me engaging a carer/befriender for a few hours once a week, giving me time to myself. I also tried a day centre (she wasn't keen and stopped going) and a few, successful respite stays.
I am not sure whether these may suit your circumstances but they could be worth a look. Finally, as I could no longer meet her needs, I took the hardest decision and arranged admission to a care home. That was 5 years ago and, though difficult at the time, I know that it was the best thing that I have done for her. She is content and well-looked after around the clock.
I was sole carer for my wife for several years before and after her Alzheimer's Disease was diagnosed. I know how hard and all consuming it can be. This site helped me tremendously with good ideas and support. It led to me engaging a carer/befriender for a few hours once a week, giving me time to myself. I also tried a day centre (she wasn't keen and stopped going) and a few, successful respite stays.
I am not sure whether these may suit your circumstances but they could be worth a look. Finally, as I could no longer meet her needs, I took the hardest decision and arranged admission to a care home. That was 5 years ago and, though difficult at the time, I know that it was the best thing that I have done for her. She is content and well-looked after around the clock.
Thank you for your reply. I'm trying very hard to get some me time but my hubby has separation anxiety and is frightened of being alone. Watching what is happening to him is heartbreaking after 50 years of marriage but he's taking me down with him. I would happily pay for a 'befriender' to visit but he refuses any help. He can't drive anymore and the gardens are overgrown. He won't let me employ a gardener. I'm so stuck.
I'm so glad to hear that your wife is safe and settled bless her.
Thank you Bay Tree. I'm waiting for a social services visit so hopefully they'll be able to help us. I also have a GP appointment arranged for next week so maybe she'll be able to help too.
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling too. It's so hard isn't it? Endless and relentless.
Clingy tell me about it I was never let out of her sight, had to use the loo with the door open so she could see me at all times.
As I say tommorws another day, but 9 months since passed on and I still miss her a 100 times a day.
Sat here on my boat right now and the house/former home is on the market, I don't like being there alone.
Time to move on I keep telling myself, pity I'm not a better liar eve i don't believe me when I tell myself that.
The sun is past the yardarm so rum ration time for me. K
As I say tommorws another day, but 9 months since passed on and I still miss her a 100 times a day.
Sat here on my boat right now and the house/former home is on the market, I don't like being there alone.
Time to move on I keep telling myself, pity I'm not a better liar eve i don't believe me when I tell myself that.
The sun is past the yardarm so rum ration time for me. K
