Feeling let down

[Janks]

I feel a bit let down by services at the moment. I have been worried about my mum for 3 years now. Back in 2022 there was an advert on the TV about dementia … I watched it and thought … that is my mum … I need to do something… as the advert encouraged as soon as you notice symptoms to get tested as early detection can improve outcomes… (getting support and medication etc) mum was referred to the memory clinic who came out and did a test which she passed… I gave them lots of incidents that the family were concerned about but the nurse seemed to collude with mum and made me think I was being over the top (this is after telling her that mum is continually losing things, seeing things that aren’t there, accusing family members of hiding things and generally paranoid… I wont go into it all but there was a lot of info. So we ended on the nurse telling me it’s anxiety and mum probably wouldn’t do well with counselling because her anxiety is so entrenched. Mum wouldn’t take medication either so that was that.
At this point mum has falling out with me and is angry with other members of the family who raised concerns. I continue to visit and help her with the daily catastrophes which seem to be on a loop
During this year mum has gone from a size 18 to a size 12
She is obviously forgetting to eat / not taking tablets etc
Took mum to the GP at Christmas and she failed a memory test so GP referred to memory team (third time in three years ) she also referred her for a CT scan and bloods.
The upshot is that the CT scan has shown shrinkage of the brain and they are currently looking into what type of dementia mum has. Memory team visiting and say to me - when we find out what type we will look at how we can treat it.
I can’t help thinking I have been asking for help for years
I did what the advert told me and made my concerns known immediately for early help and yet here we are and I know in my heart it’s too far gone now - mum isn’t mum any more. I know it can’t be cured but had someone taken the family seriously we may have avoided what has been an awful time of paranoia, fear, anxiety, depression accusations.

 

[SAP]

@Janks , you may have avoided it but probably not, these things happen regardless of diagnosis with the most supported people with dementia going through all of the issues your mum has and families bear the brunt of this.
The whole system is wrong and unsupportive and carers are pretty much left to their own devices in the early stages. Had your mum been diagnosed earlier , you would have had the name of a condition but absolutely no guarantee of support, medication or further medical input. Sorry to sound so bleak but this is the state we are in.
The adverts are there to raise awareness but as many on here have said, they do not tell the whole story. You absolutely did the right things at the right time ,there just isn’t a good enough system in place to make early diagnosis a thing of substance.