Feeling guilty

[upsanddownsdays]

After a bad few weeks, my mum fell and broke her hip in her carehome , after nearly two weeks sitting at her bedside every day in hospital , and one day back at her carehome , we came down with COVID . Three weeks off work and without pay.
Now we have come away for a much needed break , but I'm feeling guilty and sad and keep thinking of my mum .

How do you take time out for yourself and feel happy when you know your loved one is struggling and is not in the comfort of their own home anymore ?
This illness is just so hard for everyone . Xx

 

[northumbrian_k]

It might help to start thinking of your mum's care home as her home. In practical terms that is what it is. She has swapped her own home (where presumably she could not manage) for a new home where a team of staff manage on her behalf. How much more would your mum be struggling if she was back in her own home? Would it really seem comfortable? She is where she is because that is what she needs. It is natural to feel guilty but also unwarranted. Keeping her safe and meeting her needs are paramount and no cause for guilt.

 

[RM3]

Hi @upsanddownsdays. I am sorry for the difficult time that you are going through.
I have had some wake up calls to the fragility of life over the past few months.
As a mum, what gives me the most pleasure, is knowing my girls are happy and healthy. I would want them to know that if I’m dealt a hand that means I can no longer express that - they should always remember who their mum really is and what mattered most to her.
I trust my girls 100%, that they would always do what is in my best interest- even if I can no longer show them that I know that.

I hope you enjoy your much needed break. We are after all, only here once. X