Dont want to be here

[susiecol]

Mum has been in care since February - her memory and behaviour deteriated after a couple of falls....but before this she used to nip up to the local shops several times a day buying the same thing....
She's been In hospital recently and is back at her care home,but staff says she's OK with them,but when we visit she says 'she might as well be dead'....hardly eats,or decides she 'doesn't like it' after 1 mouthful- she's lost half a stone while in hospital,the home have said she will be seeing a dietician to see if they can help....but our visits are just so miserable,thestaff are so lovely and there's always something going on - just wish she would settle and be a little bit happier......

 

[leny connery]

it must be so difficult to hear them say it, and cannot settle in a care home. can you still take her out to shop or just out when visiting> or it makes things worse? Good luck. hope it will get better

 

[susiecol]

Its difficult because she broke her hip/pelvic area and can't put any weight on,but before this happened one of the carers did take mum to the local pub for a cuppa and cake,but since her hospital visit - its like back to square one again ..they have a lovely outdoor roof terrace which I think she would like,mum just doesn't consider herself 'old like the rest of the residents' she's actually 90 in June... xx 😀 difficult times

 

[Bod]

What do the staff say about her attitude when you are not there?
Does she take part in any of the activities? (as best she can)
How different is the current attitude to the time when she first went in?
Is she having to go through the same readjustment period, but with the difficulties of the hip damage.

Bod

 

[susiecol]

What do the staff say about her attitude when you are not there?
Does she take part in any of the activities? (as best she can)
How different is the current attitude to the time when she first went in?
Is she having to go through the same readjustment period, but with the difficulties of the hip damage.

Bod

Her attitude is similar but she had only been in a month in this current home so hadn't really adjusted in that time....mums always been quite a timid person and has never wanted to join in with anything like bingo etc

 

[canary]

I'd give it more time @susiecol
It usually takes people with dementia a good couple of months to settle in a care home and your mum has the additional setback of the hip fracture which will have inevitably knocked the stuffing out of her and perhaps will have progressed the dementia too.

You may find that she complains vociferously about the care home to you, but the rest of the time she is happy and even joining in as far as she is able. They seem to save up all their complaints (even things that aren't true) for when their relatives come.

 

[Kevinl]

I think it's fair to say that none of us want to be here either sudiecol, but it is what it is so we are here. Here to listen and help if and where we can. Take care. K

 

[susiecol]

I'd give it more time @susiecol
It usually takes people with dementia a good couple of months to settle in a care home and your mum has the additional setback of the hip fracture which will have inevitably knocked the stuffing out of her and perhaps will have progressed the dementia too.

You may find that she complains vociferously about the care home to you, but the rest of the time she is happy and even joining in as far as she is able. They seem to save up all their complaints (even things that aren't true) for when their relatives come.

Thankyou it's such a shame she's had this setback....love my mum,but gosh she's hard work

 

[susiecol]

I think it's fair to say that none of us want to be here either sudiecol, but it is what it is so we are here. Here to listen and help if and where we can. Take care. K

Thankyou

 

[susiecol]

I think it's fair to say that none of us want to be here either sudiecol, but it is what it is so we are here. Here to listen and help if and where we can. Take care. K

❤💙

 

[susiecol]

it must be so difficult to hear them say it, and cannot settle in a care home. can you still take her out to shop or just out when visiting> or it makes things worse? Good luck. hope it will get better

Thankyou x hopefully get her out when she's feeling a bit stronger

 

[Kevinl]

Sorry, I just realised I spelt your name incorrectly, sorry. K

 

[susiecol]

Sorry, I just realised I spelt your name incorrectly, sorry. K

No problem 😊

 

[Kevinl]

Thank you and stay strong, all here to help. K

 

[susiecol]

Thanks

 

[Kevinl]

Just is what it is, just helped Mrs next door get
the shopping into her house and a damp toddler too, washing machine on in the morning again I guess. For me anyway. K