I have coined the term "Dad-min", for all the extra life admin I now have to do as a consequence of Dad's dementia and being PoA and next of kin etc. Just today, we've had....
1) Ring doorbell monitoring to try and work out why a man in a hi-viz with "Gas" written across the back was at the door, apparently trying the door handle. This is the second time in the week that the same man has done this. I have therefore contacted Cadent, who are doing gas main work in the road outside, as although someone might legitimately need to access something, they shouldn't be trying door handles!
2) Called care agency because it seemed as though the door was open when the Gas person tried the handle. The carer agency sent a carer out to lock the door, as Dad had gone out wandering.
3) Using Google Maps at various intervals in the day to track his wandering and to communicate with the carers about the fact he wasn't at home for two out of the three daily visits.
4) Answering the phone to the tea-time carer, who is supposed to give him medication. He has been out wandering for the evening meds for about the last 8 in 10 visits, so he is rarely getting his donepezil or evening glaucoma eye drops, or his meds for improving his bowel habits. Fortunately, the most important life-sustaining meds are given in the morning, when he is usually at home, if the carers come roughly on schedule and he is one of the first visits of the day for this reason.
5) Dealing with the careline people just recently, as his falls alarm triggered (again) and he didn't respond to them on the intercom. It was yet another case of him dropping it, or poking it, or throwing it across the room, when getting into his PJs, probably.
6) Emailed both his GP and the care agency about the contents of what I will write about under point 8 below and what comes after it.
7) Emailed a pub in which he left his favourite hat, seeking its return.
8) Based on what I was seeing under item 3, used his Google records to work out where he was likely to be going this morning. Turns out he was going around private hearing aid/audiology providers, asking them about the bone-anchored hearing aid (BAHA) clip stuck in his skull. It wasn't clear from the conversations if Dad didn't know what the clip was for, or if he wanted to know how to use the BAHA or what, as the staff said he didn't make much sense and they mainly talked to him and gave him a cuppa. Our concerns were that he would be provided with a private hearing aid at huge cost (which he can't afford) or generally be ripped off.
Dad has been confusing audiology and things relating to his glasses, as he sent an email yesterday to another private hearing aid provider, saying that his vari-focals didn't work anymore. Dad has two hearing aids (conventional and BAHA), but he does not know how to use either of these anymore and trying to put them in for him is pointless. When we have put them in, he starts picking at them/pulling them and either damages them, or pulls them out/off and then they get lost. The BAHA digital processor, which is detachable, costs the NHS upwards of £6000 each and he lost one about 18 months ago and this was replaced, only for him to be unable to connect it to his clip (embedded in his skull) and he also broke his conventional hearing aid about 3 times in a short period, as he couldn't open the battery compartment to replace batteries and kept poking sharp objects into the tubing to "clean" it. This meant me or my husband going 40 miles to him to collect the damaged aids; taking them to the hospital for repair and then collecting them again and returning them to him, 40 miles away. He then forgot he even had hearing aids when in hospital in Sept last year and we haven't bothered to encourage him with them anymore because they were simply more trouble than help for all concerned.
He goes through phases of being obsessed with or fascinated with certain things. We've just come out of a door/keys obsession and one relating to his old school. Now we are back on glasses and hearing aids. He had a glasses-related obsession last year at about the same time of year, but it is unrelated to, for example, a letter asking him to come for an eye test, as his annual test is in July/August. He had an extensive examination in the glaucoma clinic in January this year and although they couldn't do all the tests properly because he couldn't follow instructions, they were happy enough with his vision when wearing his glasses. I wonder if he doesn't understand why his peripheral vision is poor? That is the glaucoma and there's not much can be done. He didn't use his eye drops properly for a long time and it's only after that last hospital admission, when carers were engaged, that he's been relatively regularly using them, although missing the evening ones fairly often, like I said before.
I wonder what the next obsession will be? And what a lot of Dad-min in one day, and that's a day when I've been off work on annual leave and trying to go out with my husband and daughter; have been dealing with our own life admin of having our leaking shower unit fixed and have taken my adult son around various late-opening pharmacies, as he had made crappy life choices and is now reaping the rewards.
It might be relaxing to head back to work on Monday!
Sorry for the essay.....
1) Ring doorbell monitoring to try and work out why a man in a hi-viz with "Gas" written across the back was at the door, apparently trying the door handle. This is the second time in the week that the same man has done this. I have therefore contacted Cadent, who are doing gas main work in the road outside, as although someone might legitimately need to access something, they shouldn't be trying door handles!
2) Called care agency because it seemed as though the door was open when the Gas person tried the handle. The carer agency sent a carer out to lock the door, as Dad had gone out wandering.
3) Using Google Maps at various intervals in the day to track his wandering and to communicate with the carers about the fact he wasn't at home for two out of the three daily visits.
4) Answering the phone to the tea-time carer, who is supposed to give him medication. He has been out wandering for the evening meds for about the last 8 in 10 visits, so he is rarely getting his donepezil or evening glaucoma eye drops, or his meds for improving his bowel habits. Fortunately, the most important life-sustaining meds are given in the morning, when he is usually at home, if the carers come roughly on schedule and he is one of the first visits of the day for this reason.
5) Dealing with the careline people just recently, as his falls alarm triggered (again) and he didn't respond to them on the intercom. It was yet another case of him dropping it, or poking it, or throwing it across the room, when getting into his PJs, probably.
6) Emailed both his GP and the care agency about the contents of what I will write about under point 8 below and what comes after it.
7) Emailed a pub in which he left his favourite hat, seeking its return.
8) Based on what I was seeing under item 3, used his Google records to work out where he was likely to be going this morning. Turns out he was going around private hearing aid/audiology providers, asking them about the bone-anchored hearing aid (BAHA) clip stuck in his skull. It wasn't clear from the conversations if Dad didn't know what the clip was for, or if he wanted to know how to use the BAHA or what, as the staff said he didn't make much sense and they mainly talked to him and gave him a cuppa. Our concerns were that he would be provided with a private hearing aid at huge cost (which he can't afford) or generally be ripped off.
Dad has been confusing audiology and things relating to his glasses, as he sent an email yesterday to another private hearing aid provider, saying that his vari-focals didn't work anymore. Dad has two hearing aids (conventional and BAHA), but he does not know how to use either of these anymore and trying to put them in for him is pointless. When we have put them in, he starts picking at them/pulling them and either damages them, or pulls them out/off and then they get lost. The BAHA digital processor, which is detachable, costs the NHS upwards of £6000 each and he lost one about 18 months ago and this was replaced, only for him to be unable to connect it to his clip (embedded in his skull) and he also broke his conventional hearing aid about 3 times in a short period, as he couldn't open the battery compartment to replace batteries and kept poking sharp objects into the tubing to "clean" it. This meant me or my husband going 40 miles to him to collect the damaged aids; taking them to the hospital for repair and then collecting them again and returning them to him, 40 miles away. He then forgot he even had hearing aids when in hospital in Sept last year and we haven't bothered to encourage him with them anymore because they were simply more trouble than help for all concerned.
He goes through phases of being obsessed with or fascinated with certain things. We've just come out of a door/keys obsession and one relating to his old school. Now we are back on glasses and hearing aids. He had a glasses-related obsession last year at about the same time of year, but it is unrelated to, for example, a letter asking him to come for an eye test, as his annual test is in July/August. He had an extensive examination in the glaucoma clinic in January this year and although they couldn't do all the tests properly because he couldn't follow instructions, they were happy enough with his vision when wearing his glasses. I wonder if he doesn't understand why his peripheral vision is poor? That is the glaucoma and there's not much can be done. He didn't use his eye drops properly for a long time and it's only after that last hospital admission, when carers were engaged, that he's been relatively regularly using them, although missing the evening ones fairly often, like I said before.
I wonder what the next obsession will be? And what a lot of Dad-min in one day, and that's a day when I've been off work on annual leave and trying to go out with my husband and daughter; have been dealing with our own life admin of having our leaking shower unit fixed and have taken my adult son around various late-opening pharmacies, as he had made crappy life choices and is now reaping the rewards.
It might be relaxing to head back to work on Monday!
Sorry for the essay.....
