Care Home Advice

[logic999]

Good Morning,

I am hoping somebody can help me.

My mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and has been struggling to keep herself safe at home.

After a stay in Hospital she has been assessed and recommended to go into a EMI Care Home. After reviewing some a home was decided which had good reviews and a good CQC rating

She has now been moved into this property and has a room with a shower and appears to have settled in well. She is also close to my Dad and he visits daily (he is also suffering from Dementia but currently independent)

My problem is, i have recently found out that my sister is named as Next of Kin and has been making all the decisions recently about finances etc. It was only after a chat with a nurse in Hospital did I find this out.

Unfortunately her mental state means she can no longer make decisions.

Now it has come to my attention that my sister is trying to move my mum to a location closer to her for convenience for herself.

The home where she is currently is less than a mile from my Dad and all family who are able live within 3 miles of it so distance isn't really an issue.

However the home she is moving her too has a poor CQC rating and has a poor reputation for poor care but she it has been agreed she is moving between the 2 homes this week which i have just found out about this morning.

Nobody will speak to anybody else because my sister is Next of Kin and it appears we will have no choice but to go with her, in the opinion of a few family members poor decision.

Is there anything I can do?

Deputyship has been looked at, but this will take months i believe.

Thanks in advance.

 

[SAP]

Is your sister just NOK or does she have LPA? If not, how is she controlling the finances? Actually your dad should be NOK if he still has capacity. I’m wondering who is keeping you informed of all of this, your sister of the services involved.

 

[Hubbie]

If your parents have joint accounts presumably your father controls the finances. Like SAP, I don't see how your sister can control the finances or move your mother's home without an LPAs in place. I would suggest contacting adult social services.

 

[Jessbow]

Surely your father is her next of Kin?

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @logic999 You might find it useful to contact the support line for help, I have attached a link below.

Contact us

Find out how to get in touch with Alzheimer's Society by phone, email, post or online.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Being next of kin has little legal status. For example, it certainly doesn't give that person the right to control someone's finances and as others have said, your dad is surely next of kin anyway? Your sister cannot go against his wishes.

I'd suggest you pursue the deputyship. It may take some time but it would give you the legal right to oversee finances. Call me suspicious, but if your sister is moving your mum against the wishes (and to the detriment of) other family and is controlling finances when she has no legal right to do so, it makes me wonder what else she is getting up to or hiding....

 

[logic999]

Hi all,

Thanks for your replies.

Shes NOK only and no further. Dad isn't because he also has dementia and isn't capable of making decisions for her.

No control, their accounts are separate and also have been. She dealt with most of the finances as he was never very good at it.

Basically from what i've since found out is that sister has her bank card and has been using it because she has been given permission from the bank to use her card for care needs?

Unfortunately I feel my situation will likely get nasty before it resolves itself.

I will call the above number and hopefully get some guidance and what is best for Mum and eventually Dad

 

[Scarlet Lady]

Hello, @logic999. As @Jaded'n'faded says, Next of Kin has little legal power. It’s normally assumed to refer to either a spouse or a person‘s nearest blood relative. It confers a certain power to act for a person in the absence of a more legally binding agreement such a Power of Attorney or Deputyship, but that is generally for practical reasons if the person cannot speak for themselves (in an emergency hospital situation, for instance).
In the U.K., unlike other countries, your next of kin can be whoever you want it to be, which could include your neighbour, best friend, or whoever. This undoubtedly helps people who either don’t have close relatives or who would not wish them to act on their behalf. It doesn’t convey any legal powers over the person’s living arrangements and most certainly not their financial affairs.

I would be most surprised if your mum‘s bank has given permission to your sister to use your mum’s card without a POA in place. This is not something they would ever normally do. Do you have proof of this, or is it just something your sister has told you?

I would certainly take @SeaSwallow’s advice and contact the helpline.

 

[SAP]

Hello @logic999 , I hope you were able to call the helpline or can do so soon. I fear that your sister could well be acting illegally with regards to your mums money. I also suspect that she is talking rubbish as she has no legal right to move your mum anywhere, only a POA or social services can do this. Ask the care home for a beat interest meeting with social services and your sister involved before anyone is moved anywhere.