Hi. Don't know what you can say, but I feel as if I'm in limbo with mum and the care staff are very vague as to whether mum it at eol stage or not. Perhaps you can let me know what you think please. It's such a torment not to know what is happening.
Mum is in a lovely care home and has been very happy there. She has been doubly incontinent for a few years. Up until 3 weeks ago, she was always in the residents lounge during the day and enjoyed watching what was going on, even though she was unable physically or mentally to participate in anything. She needed to be hoisted into the lounge as unable to walk or stand unaided. Mum seems very settled and content but it is not possible to have a conversation with her, however, she seems to enjoy us chatting away to her (or maybe we're telling ourselves that as we want her to be happy?). She has been deteriorating this last year and is no longer able to feed herself or join in any activities (like colouring or reading). Mum has been put on NHS Fast Track (continuing healthcare funding) twice this year as they thought she had reached eol. Thankfully, mum rallied and both times the Fast Track was removed, understandably.
The most recent change is that mum has been in bed for the last three weeks. She sleeps most of the time, day and night, but does eat porridge and a few other tit bits when the staff wake her up to feed her. Within 5 minutes, she falls fast asleep again. Having said this, she has lost a lot of weight recently and is now very frail and weak. She is unable to sit in a chair as she flops forward or leans over to the side, which is uncomfortable and dangerous. She is very weak and unable to hold a cup even with help. She has no coordination, so wouldn't be able to use a spoon to feed herself. This morning it took me 30 minutes to wake her up. I persisted as she needed to take her medication. The staff say she is too weak to even sit in a chair for a short time, but won't say if they think she will always be bedridden. I feel that she is not able to rebuild strength laying in bed, so have accepted that it's likely she will not get up again. Family visit mum 5 times a week, but once the visitor has left the room, within 2 mins she has no recollection that she has seen that person.
Mum was supposed to have an 'assessment' by the local nurse team last week. She had developed a small crackle on her lung and was very unwell. She was given antibiotics and the nurse team said they would reassess her state of health later last week, but have been too busy to call at the care home to see her since. The staff said they'll come this week. Mum has improved a little since the antibiotics, but is as sleepy and frail as ever. She has developed a very sore bum which the nurses were supposed to be looking at today - I have heard nothing yet.
It's all such a waiting game, filled with uncertainty.
Sorry for the long post, but it helps to talk to people who understand.
Mum is in a lovely care home and has been very happy there. She has been doubly incontinent for a few years. Up until 3 weeks ago, she was always in the residents lounge during the day and enjoyed watching what was going on, even though she was unable physically or mentally to participate in anything. She needed to be hoisted into the lounge as unable to walk or stand unaided. Mum seems very settled and content but it is not possible to have a conversation with her, however, she seems to enjoy us chatting away to her (or maybe we're telling ourselves that as we want her to be happy?). She has been deteriorating this last year and is no longer able to feed herself or join in any activities (like colouring or reading). Mum has been put on NHS Fast Track (continuing healthcare funding) twice this year as they thought she had reached eol. Thankfully, mum rallied and both times the Fast Track was removed, understandably.
The most recent change is that mum has been in bed for the last three weeks. She sleeps most of the time, day and night, but does eat porridge and a few other tit bits when the staff wake her up to feed her. Within 5 minutes, she falls fast asleep again. Having said this, she has lost a lot of weight recently and is now very frail and weak. She is unable to sit in a chair as she flops forward or leans over to the side, which is uncomfortable and dangerous. She is very weak and unable to hold a cup even with help. She has no coordination, so wouldn't be able to use a spoon to feed herself. This morning it took me 30 minutes to wake her up. I persisted as she needed to take her medication. The staff say she is too weak to even sit in a chair for a short time, but won't say if they think she will always be bedridden. I feel that she is not able to rebuild strength laying in bed, so have accepted that it's likely she will not get up again. Family visit mum 5 times a week, but once the visitor has left the room, within 2 mins she has no recollection that she has seen that person.
Mum was supposed to have an 'assessment' by the local nurse team last week. She had developed a small crackle on her lung and was very unwell. She was given antibiotics and the nurse team said they would reassess her state of health later last week, but have been too busy to call at the care home to see her since. The staff said they'll come this week. Mum has improved a little since the antibiotics, but is as sleepy and frail as ever. She has developed a very sore bum which the nurses were supposed to be looking at today - I have heard nothing yet.
It's all such a waiting game, filled with uncertainty.
Sorry for the long post, but it helps to talk to people who understand.
