Any thoughts?

[Misty85]

Hi everyone, I am a new member and have come here looking for advice and support. I have had concerns about my Mum's memory/mental health for around 6 months now. I have now managed to convince her that it's a good idea that we speak to the doctor and we are awaiting an appointment.
I have read up on the symptoms of dementia but am unsure if this is what she has - I guess this is what the doctor is for! She is repeating herself often, often unsure of the day of the week, requires help to complete forms, asks for lots of repetition and reassurance (eg if we have plans to do something). She has more recently got muddled with some things, forgets some words, and has just started rolling her hand in the air as she is talking, it seems almost as though to keep the train of thought moving. She has also started talking about the past A LOT and doesn't seem to show any empathy or interest in the people around her - she asks how my day was but really isn't interested in the answer and will quickly move the conversation back to herself.
However, there are other things she is very capable of - she picks my daughter up from school and I have good confidence that she would always be there. She can get herself out and about (although often lacks motivation to do so) but panics about getting herself to and from unfamiliar locations and so does many practise runs.
I realise this forum isn't for medical advice, but does anyone have any thoughts to share on these symptoms? I felt so unkind sharing my concerns with her as I know it is now worrying her, but I also don't want to wait for things to get worse.
Thanks in advance for reading

 

[yoy]

It may be worth writing to or emailing her GP prior to the appointment listing everything you have listed here plus anything else you may think of, explaining that you think it might worry her to raise it all in front of her. That way if she denies there's anything wrong with her (very common) or comes across really well in front of the GP (also common) they already have an idea of what's happening. It would be advisable to go with her as well.
Do you have LPA for her? If not, now is the time to get it done before it's too late.

 

[Chizz]

Hi everyone, I am a new member and have come here looking for advice and support. I have had concerns about my Mum's memory/mental health for around 6 months now. I have now managed to convince her that it's a good idea that we speak to the doctor and we are awaiting an appointment.
I have read up on the symptoms of dementia but am unsure if this is what she has - I guess this is what the doctor is for! She is repeating herself often, often unsure of the day of the week, requires help to complete forms, asks for lots of repetition and reassurance (eg if we have plans to do something). She has more recently got muddled with some things, forgets some words, and has just started rolling her hand in the air as she is talking, it seems almost as though to keep the train of thought moving. She has also started talking about the past A LOT and doesn't seem to show any empathy or interest in the people around her - she asks how my day was but really isn't interested in the answer and will quickly move the conversation back to herself.
However, there are other things she is very capable of - she picks my daughter up from school and I have good confidence that she would always be there. She can get herself out and about (although often lacks motivation to do so) but panics about getting herself to and from unfamiliar locations and so does many practise runs.
I realise this forum isn't for medical advice, but does anyone have any thoughts to share on these symptoms? I felt so unkind sharing my concerns with her as I know it is now worrying her, but I also don't want to wait for things to get worse.
Thanks in advance for reading

Hi @Misty85
Welcome to this forum. Lots of carers with experience who can and will offer support, plus lots of info to look through on the Alz Soc website.

What you've said about your concerns for your mum does, to me, sound v much like dementia. As stated, wrie things down, so that they can be brought up with doctor and/or memory clinic.
If your mum is living on her own, I think you had better start keeping a closer eye on her - it only takes a moment for someone to forget to turn off the gas or to leave water running - many of us have been there before. Yes it is common and usual for the person in question to be in denial and to know there is nothing wrong with them. It is also common for a PWD (person with dementia) to on a show of normality, and you need to be aware of this.
Best wishes.

 

[Misty85]

It may be worth writing to or emailing her GP prior to the appointment listing everything you have listed here plus anything else you may think of, explaining that you think it might worry her to raise it all in front of her. That way if she denies there's anything wrong with her (very common) or comes across really well in front of the GP (also common) they already have an idea of what's happening. It would be advisable to go with her as well.
Do you have LPA for her? If not, now is the time to get it done before it's too late.

That's really helpful advice, thank you. I have just phoned the GP and they have sent a link so that I can send some info through in advance. I think she probably will present OK for the short duration of the appointment. I already have LPA. Thanks again for your advice

 

[Misty85]

Hi @Misty85
Welcome to this forum. Lots of carers with experience who can and will offer support, plus lots of info to look through on the Alz Soc website.

What you've said about your concerns for your mum does, to me, sound v much like dementia. As stated, wrie things down, so that they can be brought up with doctor and/or memory clinic.
If your mum is living on her own, I think you had better start keeping a closer eye on her - it only takes a moment for someone to forget to turn off the gas or to leave water running - many of us have been there before. Yes it is common and usual for the person in question to be in denial and to know there is nothing wrong with them. It is also common for a PWD (person with dementia) to on a show of normality, and you need to be aware of this.
Best wishes.

Thank you for this, I have been keeping a log for around 6 week. It makes me really uncomfortable but I also know it will be helpful at some time. Thanks again

 

[Angelsoul]

This sounds very familiar to me, but it could be something else. I took my mum to Dr's initially as she was very down and depressed ( my dad had passed away) but we knew she was beginning to forget things unable to use remote, I mentioned to Dr whilst there about memory....it was was horrible and awkward with mum sitting beside me, but we couldn't ignore it. She didn't like it at all. Memory assessment followed. Mixed dementia was diagnosed. Its a tough conversation but you need to know either way.

 

[Misty85]

This sounds very familiar to me, but it could be something else. I took my mum to Dr's initially as she was very down and depressed ( my dad had passed away) but we knew she was beginning to forget things unable to use remote, I mentioned to Dr whilst there about memory....it was was horrible and awkward with mum sitting beside me, but we couldn't ignore it. She didn't like it at all. Memory assessment followed. Mixed dementia was diagnosed. Its a tough conversation but you need to know either way.

 

[Misty85]

Thanks for the replies

 

[Misty85]

This sounds very familiar to me, but it could be something else. I took my mum to Dr's initially as she was very down and depressed ( my dad had passed away) but we knew she was beginning to forget things unable to use remote, I mentioned to Dr whilst there about memory....it was was horrible and awkward with mum sitting beside me, but we couldn't ignore it. She didn't like it at all. Memory assessment followed. Mixed dementia was diagnosed. Its a tough conversation but you need to know either way.

I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad, it sounds like you had a lot happening at once. Our conversation yesterday was difficult and she got quite cross with me, but I'm glad she at least accepted the need for an appointment. Thanks for replying

 

[Angelsoul]

That's really good your mum has accepted the appointment. Maybe talk about other things first before the main issue. Great you've given information beforehand. That's really helpful, hopefully the Dr is good and gets it...and will be subtle when talking to your mum. Try and let mum speak without jumping in... difficult I know. Know when to gently adding your opinion.xx

 

[Misty85]

That's really good your mum has accepted the appointment. Maybe talk about other things first before the main issue. Great you've given information beforehand. That's really helpful, hopefully the Dr is good and gets it...and will be subtle when talking to your mum. Try and let mum speak without jumping in... difficult I know. Know when to gently adding your opinion.xx

All good advice - thank you

 

[Banjomansmate]

And the usual advice, try and sit out of Mum’s field of view but where the Dr. can see you so that you can indicate if she’s not telling the truth!

 

[Misty85]

And the usual advice, try and sit out of Mum’s field of view but where the Dr. can see you so that you can indicate if she’s not telling the truth!

Ohhhhhh helpful!

 

[Banjomansmate]

👍

 

[ChaceSoto]

These symptoms can be signs of a variety of conditions, including dementia, but only a doctor can give an accurate diagnosis. It is important that you were able to convince your mother of the importance of visiting a doctor. Continue to support her and be there for her, it is very important. Remember that you are not alone, and on forums like this there is always support and advice from people who have been through similar situations.

 

[Misty85]

These symptoms can be signs of a variety of conditions, including dementia, but only a doctor can give an accurate diagnosis. It is important that you were able to convince your mother of the importance of visiting a doctor. Continue to support her and be there for her, it is very important. Remember that you are not alone, and on forums like this there is always support and advice from people who have been through similar situations.

Thank you

 

[saraht40]

The symptoms you describe are very similar to my mum's. It's good you have an appointment with the GP that she has agreed to. When I took my mum they also did blood tests to rule anything else out and did a cognitive test. I expected her to do badly, but she did really well (never knows the day, month or year, but somehow did that day!). They asked me further questions where I could confirm there were issues, so they suspected dementia. My GP seems to be keeping me out of the loop a lot of the time due to confidentiality, which is annoying.
This forum has already been so helpful, though, so you have come to the right place. Hope the appointment is helpful and you get some answers and a way forward.

 

[Misty85]

The symptoms you describe are very similar to my mum's. It's good you have an appointment with the GP that she has agreed to. When I took my mum they also did blood tests to rule anything else out and did a cognitive test. I expected her to do badly, but she did really well (never knows the day, month or year, but somehow did that day!). They asked me further questions where I could confirm there were issues, so they suspected dementia. My GP seems to be keeping me out of the loop a lot of the time due to confidentiality, which is annoying.
This forum has already been so helpful, though, so you have come to the right place. Hope the appointment is helpful and you get some answers and a way forward.

Thanks so much for your reply. I'm sorry you are in the same situation, but equally nice to know I'm not alone in it. My Mum also did very well with the cognitive test today with GP, though she had been practising and told him so! Like you, we were lucky the GP listened to my views and asked me lots of questions too, just waiting for a referral to the memory clinic now, but apparently there is a wait

 

[saraht40]

Thanks so much for your reply. I'm sorry you are in the same situation, but equally nice to know I'm not alone in it. My Mum also did very well with the cognitive test today with GP, though she had been practising and told him so! Like you, we were lucky the GP listened to my views and asked me lots of questions too, just waiting for a referral to the memory clinic now, but apparently there is a wait

That's really good you have a referral to the memory clinic. Hope it's helpful