Hi all,
I'd really appreciate some advice and/or suggestions please.
Mum has a fixation on her money and only works with cash. As soon as money goes in she takes it out. She doesn't do much shopping at all. I buy her fruit and bits and pieces for cupboard and fridge. My concern is she eats out and orders in (same food every day), regardless of whether a nutritious homecooked meal has been prepared for her by myself or one of my kids (few times a week). A lot of her money is spent on these outside meals. She says its her money and she can do what she wants and eat what she wants. We have tried fresh and frozen ready meals, but again she will eat those, but still order food in in evening. I spoke to the memory clinic worker when she called to do a review. She suggested a lunch club for mum, though I have tried this with her myself, she is not interested in any such club or socialising. Totally reliant on me. She doesn't think she needs nor does she want a carer.
She has never really cooked much for herself. My dad used to do most of the cooking, and he passed away over 12 years ago.
My brother stays over with my mum often, which I think she finds reassuring as she lives alone, though he doesn't contribute in any way. I'm not sure how much she spends on this food exactly, but anywhere between £15.00 - £30 a day, (if providing meal for my brother too)! He insists he tells her not to order food for him, but she continues to do so regardless, if she knows he is coming. She tells me she doesn't do this, but she does. She also tells me she doesn't order the food every day, though I believe she does. I can not provide home cooked meals every day nor visit twice a day and my brother says she throws away anything he has brought in for her. She will order food and eat hers before my brother arrives.
Mum is nearly 78. I worry about her diet, and the money she is spending, though this is her choice she was probably doing this before dementia onset (maybe not as frequently as now). I am also concerned as she is also paying for these meals in cash, which is also risky. I'm not sure quite how to deal with this. In spending this amount of money a day mum needs a certain amount of cash to get through each week which is also a concern. I have spoken to bank about opening up another account to manage her spending, as she hasn't been leaving money in bank for bills. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I guess the main thing is she is eating, though not the healthiest way! Recent health check was good. BP good. Weight the same. I don't know what to do, its frustrating and worrying too!
I'm trying to do what's in her best interest.
Thanks for reading
H.
I'd really appreciate some advice and/or suggestions please.
Mum has a fixation on her money and only works with cash. As soon as money goes in she takes it out. She doesn't do much shopping at all. I buy her fruit and bits and pieces for cupboard and fridge. My concern is she eats out and orders in (same food every day), regardless of whether a nutritious homecooked meal has been prepared for her by myself or one of my kids (few times a week). A lot of her money is spent on these outside meals. She says its her money and she can do what she wants and eat what she wants. We have tried fresh and frozen ready meals, but again she will eat those, but still order food in in evening. I spoke to the memory clinic worker when she called to do a review. She suggested a lunch club for mum, though I have tried this with her myself, she is not interested in any such club or socialising. Totally reliant on me. She doesn't think she needs nor does she want a carer.
She has never really cooked much for herself. My dad used to do most of the cooking, and he passed away over 12 years ago.
My brother stays over with my mum often, which I think she finds reassuring as she lives alone, though he doesn't contribute in any way. I'm not sure how much she spends on this food exactly, but anywhere between £15.00 - £30 a day, (if providing meal for my brother too)! He insists he tells her not to order food for him, but she continues to do so regardless, if she knows he is coming. She tells me she doesn't do this, but she does. She also tells me she doesn't order the food every day, though I believe she does. I can not provide home cooked meals every day nor visit twice a day and my brother says she throws away anything he has brought in for her. She will order food and eat hers before my brother arrives.
Mum is nearly 78. I worry about her diet, and the money she is spending, though this is her choice she was probably doing this before dementia onset (maybe not as frequently as now). I am also concerned as she is also paying for these meals in cash, which is also risky. I'm not sure quite how to deal with this. In spending this amount of money a day mum needs a certain amount of cash to get through each week which is also a concern. I have spoken to bank about opening up another account to manage her spending, as she hasn't been leaving money in bank for bills. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I guess the main thing is she is eating, though not the healthiest way! Recent health check was good. BP good. Weight the same. I don't know what to do, its frustrating and worrying too!
I'm trying to do what's in her best interest.
Thanks for reading
H.
Last edited:
