Advice please …

[masquereader]

My OH who has FTD is currently sitting on the step up to the French windows - i.e., in the garden, but with a door open behind him into the house. he probably fell, but he won’t admit to it. I didn’t miss him until I went to find him to tell him the evening meal was ready, so I’ve no idea how long he’s been there. Probably no longer than half an hour. I asked him whether he needed help to get up (actually, I know from experienceI can’t be a lot of use, but we have various strategies we can employ if he’s downed: worst case scenario, I call his sister and brother-in-law to help, but they are busy people and half an hour’s drive away) and he told me in no uncertain terms to go away, so I did. He knows dinner is ready, I think he’s trying unsuccessfully to get up. What should I do? The weather’s mild, it’s still light. My instinct tells me to leave him until I’m actually worried about his physical welfare, and then call for help

 

[Suetsue]

I am sorry, I don’t know what to suggest but couldn’t leave without replying so you know someone is out there. It’s still light and not cold or wet. Do you think he could get up when his mind clears. This is no help to you but two years ago my OH fell in the garden after drinking far too much, he has mixed dementia, I didn’t want anyone to know and it took me ages to get him in. Still not sure if I did the right thing or not. Know it’s no help to you in your current situation, just wanted you to know that I have heard you and thinking of you x

 

[SeaSwallow]

I would suggest that you contact 999 as a matter of urgency. You need to ensure that he has not injured himself.

 

[masquereader]

I would suggest that you contact 999 as a matter of urgency. You need to ensure that he has not injured himself.

This has happened before. I have called 999 in the past, but I don’t feel i can keep on calling on them. He’s not injured. He’s actually made his way in through the door now and up onto his chair (by bum shuffling) and now he’s accusing me of watching him struggle - although if I offer to help he becomes abusive and tells me to shut up and go away. Why do i keep doing this when he doesn’t seem to want me to?

 

[sapphire turner]

You can’t win eh, I think you have to trust your instincts. Nobody knows him better than you! Good luck and sending love ❤️

 

[SeaSwallow]

This has happened before. I have called 999 in the past, but I don’t feel i can keep on calling on them. He’s not injured. He’s actually made his way in through the door now and up onto his chair (by bum shuffling) and now he’s accusing me of watching him struggle - although if I offer to help he becomes abusive and tells me to shut up and go away. Why do i keep doing this when he doesn’t seem to want me to?

Sometimes it is hard to know what to do for the best, and with dementia we can never win. Good to know he got himself back in.

 

[masquereader]

Thanks for the supportive responses. I’ve taken his meal through to him and he’s watching the tv now as if nothing happened 🙄

 

[sapphire turner]

Thanks for the supportive responses. I’ve taken his meal through to him and he’s watching the tv now as if nothing happened 🙄

What are they like? Look after yourself!!❤️❤️

 

[Suetsue]

My OH who has FTD is currently sitting on the step up to the French windows - i.e., in the garden, but with a door open behind him into the house. he probably fell, but he won’t admit to it. I didn’t miss him until I went to find him to tell him the evening meal was ready, so I’ve no idea how long he’s been there. Probably no longer than half an hour. I asked him whether he needed help to get up (actually, I know from experienceI can’t be a lot of use, but we have various strategies we can employ if he’s downed: worst case scenario, I call his sister and brother-in-law to help, but they are busy people and half an hour’s drive away) and he told me in no uncertain terms to go away, so I did. He knows dinner is ready, I think he’s trying unsuccessfully to get up. What should I do? The weather’s mild, it’s still light. My instinct tells me to leave him until I’m actually worried about his physical welfare, and then call for help

Thinking of you this morning, glad he was able to get himself back indoors, look after yourself x