My mum was taken into hospital at the start of December 2023, when my father could no longer cope with mum at home. Mum was in a large hospital until February when we managed to get her moved to a community hospital where they have specialist dementia care. Mum's dementia has further deteriorated since she went into hospital, culminating in a fall several weeks ago, which required surgery. Mum has now had a partial hip replacement, but I am very concerned as she has not eaten for 14 days. and she is also only taking minimal fluids. She received sub cutaneous hydration last night. We are very concerned as we do not know whether mum is not eating or drinking due to the surgery, or due to the dementia progressing. We are very worried she might be heading towards, end of life. Any suggestions, guidance or support would be appreciated. My sister and I are tag teaming so we are with her the majority of the day and we can offer her drinks, and food every few minutes. Thanks Lynne
Advice for mum in late stages of dementia
- Thread starter Lynne van der Meer
- Start date
Thank you for your kind words. Mum took care of us as we were children and grew up and was amazing after I had a C-section, taking such good care of me. It's only fair to mum, that we repay some of the love and care she gave us as we grew up.
Hello @Lynne van der Meer , and welcome.
I've no experience of what a community hospital is, so apologies if I'm speaking out or turn or perhaps stating the obvious.
When mum was admitted to hospital a few years ago now she was put onto a ward with other dementia sufferers, and despite there being a big notice above her bed that she would need assistance with eating etc nobody helped her.
The health care assistants would hand her a menu to choose what she wanted for dinner the following day and mum did not have a clue - so very often she would end up being given something that she would struggle to eat because she couldn't cut up food using a knife or fork. We didn't realise this was happening for a few days until we were told mum wasn't eating or drinking very much. We then made sure that we were there for every meal to help her. From hospital she was discharged to a nursing home as it was obvious that her dementia had got worse - she couldn't walk, doubly incontinent etc.
Once in the nursing home she did rally a bit and with their care her appetite returned and she was able to feed herself (using fingers).
We did find that mum was more accepting of finger foods, so little sandwiches with no crusts, cake or biscuits - she did develop a very sweet tooth but I worked on the basis that that was the least of her problems. Also desserts made with milk were also a favourite as they were easily swallowed.
Have the staff given you any info regarding feeding - I know a few people in mum's home have fortified drinks and they seem to go down well.
As I said, no experience with community hospitals so they may already be doing the above, with dementia as you no doubt know there is a very fine line as to what can cause the dementia to progress and it can sometimes mask other things going on with your mum.
Take care of yourself x
I've no experience of what a community hospital is, so apologies if I'm speaking out or turn or perhaps stating the obvious.
When mum was admitted to hospital a few years ago now she was put onto a ward with other dementia sufferers, and despite there being a big notice above her bed that she would need assistance with eating etc nobody helped her.
The health care assistants would hand her a menu to choose what she wanted for dinner the following day and mum did not have a clue - so very often she would end up being given something that she would struggle to eat because she couldn't cut up food using a knife or fork. We didn't realise this was happening for a few days until we were told mum wasn't eating or drinking very much. We then made sure that we were there for every meal to help her. From hospital she was discharged to a nursing home as it was obvious that her dementia had got worse - she couldn't walk, doubly incontinent etc.
Once in the nursing home she did rally a bit and with their care her appetite returned and she was able to feed herself (using fingers).
We did find that mum was more accepting of finger foods, so little sandwiches with no crusts, cake or biscuits - she did develop a very sweet tooth but I worked on the basis that that was the least of her problems. Also desserts made with milk were also a favourite as they were easily swallowed.
Have the staff given you any info regarding feeding - I know a few people in mum's home have fortified drinks and they seem to go down well.
As I said, no experience with community hospitals so they may already be doing the above, with dementia as you no doubt know there is a very fine line as to what can cause the dementia to progress and it can sometimes mask other things going on with your mum.
Take care of yourself x
I was there for wife and mum too because I know they would have been there for me too, had it it been to other way round that simple. K
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