Help! My 88 year old step mum of 20years has been deterating with D to the point my dad of 87 is finding it too much to cope with. The two families have decided it is time for residential care although we have times when she manages with support and we still have quality times at home. Following another nasty bout of pneumonia she has gone into a local care home that specialises in dementia care. Dad visits everyday as do other members of the family. When they are alone she gets upset and says how lonely she is and gets upset with her daughter.it is only 10 days since she moved in but I am finding it very difficult to support my dad as he is so upset when we have left her and at home. Suggestions greatly appreciated.
When a couple are separated.
- Thread starter Barnard
- Start date
Hi Barnard,
It must be very difficult and emotional right now. I don't know your family's particular situation. Just as a bit of information, there are care homes which can and often do cater to couples. We just recently visited a Care/Nursing home which has a residential area, for those who don't need nursing but need some looking after, as well as a nursing section for those who need full time care/support. I saw many couples whilst I was there. One mate may be living in the residential, whilst their spouse is upstairs in Nursing. The staff get them up each morning and make sure they can have their meals together and time for visits. Not sure if anything like that might be possible for you.
If not, then time seems to ease things. It's never easy to have your spouse living elsewhere, but perhaps it becomes the new "normal" and regular visits are planned and looked forward to.
Just some thoughts.
I hope things calm down for you.
Cheers,
It must be very difficult and emotional right now. I don't know your family's particular situation. Just as a bit of information, there are care homes which can and often do cater to couples. We just recently visited a Care/Nursing home which has a residential area, for those who don't need nursing but need some looking after, as well as a nursing section for those who need full time care/support. I saw many couples whilst I was there. One mate may be living in the residential, whilst their spouse is upstairs in Nursing. The staff get them up each morning and make sure they can have their meals together and time for visits. Not sure if anything like that might be possible for you.
If not, then time seems to ease things. It's never easy to have your spouse living elsewhere, but perhaps it becomes the new "normal" and regular visits are planned and looked forward to.
Just some thoughts.
I hope things calm down for you.
Cheers,
Hi Benrese,we did try both together for a 'holiday' sort of break but home we went to just left everything to my dad which was no help at all not there now! Anyway a little better day today and getting a calming tablet to help situation thank you for your reply xx
