Wanting to leave the house

[Brisy Chris]

My husband has had vascular dementia and alzheimers for 4 years, he's just started saying that he needs to get out of the house to either 'go home' or go to work, which he doesn't anymore. Just wondered how others distract from this need. He has sneaked out of the house a couple of times and I worry the day will come when he won't know his way back, he can't remember our address. I got a ubequee tracker but there's no saying he will put the coat it's in on when he goes out and even if he does the signal isn't very good. Are there any sorts of sensors that people have tried that would alert me if he leaves the house. I've hidden the keys a couple of times pretending I'd put them in the wrong place, but that just upsets him.

He's suddenly started sleeping a lot more too, ie all morning, is that normal? I know nothing is normal, it's just the sudden change that has surprised me.

 

[try again]

You can get sensors for doors.

 

[maggieanne]

My husband a few months ago started saying he needed to leave the house,go home,go to work. He’s been retired 8 years.
My son would take him out for a few hours and then when he brought him home he wouldn’t take his coat off. Didn’t believe he was home.
I used distraction methods for awhile. Take him for a walk. Make a snack..
I found making his shoes or coat not visible to him helped. Keeping keys out of his sight. This distracted him for awhile. Trouble is if they are determined to go there’s not a lot you can do to stop them except go with them.
If he’s got a mobile phone you can track them as long as it’s switched on. In my husbands case it wasn’t safe for him to be on his own.
As for myself things got I couldn’t cope anymore. Carer burnout. He’s been in a lovely care home now for nearly 8 weeks. He sundowns late afternoon which while at home got hard to manage.He wants to go to work then. Paces a lot.
It’s hard to manage. I never thought it would come to this. I so wanted to keep him home.
I console myself with knowing he’s got carers to look after him day and night. Not just me having to do everything for him.
My husband started sleeping a lot. Mostly mid morning. Wanting to go to bed early but then not sleeping all night.
It’s hard, hope you find a way to help you.

 

[Bettysue]

This all sounds very familiar. My partner would insist on going out and for a while it was ok as he wore a tracker watch which I could monitor on my phone. As he deteriorated and it became unsafe for him to be out alone I had to keep doors locked and keys in my pocket. He still managed to get out at times and sometimes I just had to go with him. On occasion he wandered quite far and even got the bus to a nearby town-he hadn’t been on a bus for 50 years! . I had to call the police who tracked him down.
I’m afraid you just have to be as vigilant as you can in attempt to keep him safe. In the end,as Maggieanne has said , it may all become too much and a care home may have to be the solution, as it was for me.

 

[Such confusion]

My husband has had vascular dementia and alzheimers for 4 years, he's just started saying that he needs to get out of the house to either 'go home' or go to work, which he doesn't anymore. Just wondered how others distract from this need. He has sneaked out of the house a couple of times and I worry the day will come when he won't know his way back, he can't remember our address. I got a ubequee tracker but there's no saying he will put the coat it's in on when he goes out and even if he does the signal isn't very good. Are there any sorts of sensors that people have tried that would alert me if he leaves the house. I've hidden the keys a couple of times pretending I'd put them in the wrong place, but that just upsets him.

He's suddenly started sleeping a lot more too, ie all morning, is that normal? I know nothing is normal, it's just the sudden change that has surprised me.

That’s really difficult for you to deal with. I got Herbert protocol forms to give to the police , to help find my LO , if they go off on the bus when I pop out shopping.

 

[steph122]

My husband has had vascular dementia and alzheimers for 4 years, he's just started saying that he needs to get out of the house to either 'go home' or go to work, which he doesn't anymore. Just wondered how others distract from this need. He has sneaked out of the house a couple of times and I worry the day will come when he won't know his way back, he can't remember our address. I got a ubequee tracker but there's no saying he will put the coat it's in on when he goes out and even if he does the signal isn't very good. Are there any sorts of sensors that people have tried that would alert me if he leaves the house. I've hidden the keys a couple of times pretending I'd put them in the wrong place, but that just upsets him.

He's suddenly started sleeping a lot more too, ie all morning, is that normal? I know nothing is normal, it's just the sudden change that has surprised me.

you could try ad distract him unless it causes anxiety, actually going out is not an issue if you can follow him. Another course of action is to phone the police and explain your husbands' condition and he has wandered off, they will make a safeguarding to social services and social services will have to do something, provide you with help and a care plan as they cannot say they were not aware of your situation . But dont expect too much.

 

[Dutchman]

Just picked this thread. When my wife wanted to “go home” she meant to her long dead mum and dad. She tried to escape the house and I put a lock on the door in the end which I’m told is not allowed but hey, who cares, when you’re trying to prevent them wandering god knows where.

Once you get to this stage it’s not long before they ought to be placed in a care home. No escaping them, and best placed to care for their safety and wellbeing.

 

[Brisy Chris]

Just picked this thread. When my wife wanted to “go home” she meant to her long dead mum and dad. She tried to escape the house and I put a lock on the door in the end which I’m told is not allowed but hey, who cares, when you’re trying to prevent them wandering god knows where.

Once you get to this stage it’s not long before they ought to be placed in a care home. No escaping them, and best placed to care for their safety and wellbeing.

I've taken to removing the keys from the door so he's effectively locked in, he's not alone, I work from home but the other week he shot out of the house whilst I was on a call, by the time I caught up with him he'd gone across a busy road without even looking. He does get very agitated at not being able to open the doors, today he cried because he couldn't. I'm hoping he doesn't ever have to go in a home.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

I've taken to removing the keys from the door so he's effectively locked in, he's not alone, I work from home but the other week he shot out of the house whilst I was on a call, by the time I caught up with him he'd gone across a busy road without even looking. He does get very agitated at not being able to open the doors, today he cried because he couldn't. I'm hoping he doesn't ever have to go in a home.

Collect his shoes and slippers, put them in a black bag and hide them.; they're now lost and you haven't a clue where they are. Expect tantrums but they will subside and he's far less likely to go wandering in his socks.

Adding a bit about a residential home. Be very careful with your promises, none of us want to use residential but usually it becomes too much and we have to give in.