Urinating

[Chocco]

Hi, my OH somtimes can't find the toilet at night - we do have night lights plugged in. If I'm awake I usually direct him to the loo and put the seat up for him so he can see where to pee. Otherwise I find puddles in the bedroom or hallway and I've just been putting kitchen roll over them to deal with in the morning. He normally gets up first and the kitchen roll is all cleared up by the time I get up and not mentioned. Last night he started to be slightly aggresive when I tried to direct him so I just backed off and he pee'd in the hall. I did the usual with kitchen roll but this morning the wet kitchen roll is in a pile at the end of the hall!
So I'm expecting a conversation about it - do I tell him it's him urinating without realising he's not in the loo or do I say the dog has a problem? He hasn't been diagnosed, waiting for appointment with memory clinic, dementia never been mentioned.

 

[Chocco]

Hi, my OH somtimes can't find the toilet at night - we do have night lights plugged in. If I'm awake I usually direct him to the loo and put the seat up for him so he can see where to pee. Otherwise I find puddles in the bedroom or hallway and I've just been putting kitchen roll over them to deal with in the morning. He normally gets up first and the kitchen roll is all cleared up by the time I get up and not mentioned. Last night he started to be slightly aggresive when I tried to direct him so I just backed off and he pee'd in the hall. I did the usual with kitchen roll but this morning the wet kitchen roll is in a pile at the end of the hall!
So I'm expecting a conversation about it - do I tell him it's him urinating without realising he's not in the loo or do I say the dog has a problem? He hasn't been diagnosed, waiting for appointment with memory clinic, dementia never been mentioned.

Well, OH has just assigned blame to the poor dog!

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I don't think it would go well if you try and explain he's been doing it. Best to leave the blame on the dog. Yes, indeed, poor dog!

 

[Chocco]

I don't think it would go well if you try and explain he's been doing it. Best to leave the blame on the dog. Yes, indeed, poor dog!

Thanks @Canadian Joanne. I came to realise that was the best course of action - just completely panicked when I saw the pile of kitchen roll!!
Strange the little things that can panic us these days eh!

 

[JaxG]

Oh no @Chocco, that sounds awful. But surely this is not sustainable - clearing up wee in the middle of the night? But more than that - puddles on your carpets etc , surely it will start smelling over time?

 

[cobden 28]

Does your husband wear incontinence pads/pants overnight?

 

[Chocco]

Oh no @Chocco, that sounds awful. But surely this is not sustainable - clearing up wee in the middle of the night? But more than that - puddles on your carpets etc , surely it will start smelling over time?

Well luckily @JaxG we have laminated floors - no carpet!
But even that does start to smell so bedroom and hall had to have a good mopping this morning.
It's not every night and being an insomniac I can usually catch him before he does it and direct him to the loo and he is grateful.
This is the second time he has become aggressive though and all I can do then is back off.

 

[Chocco]

Does your husband wear incontinence pads/pants overnight?

No @cobden 28, he doesn't know he has a pee problem. He hasn't been diagnosed yet and as far as he is concerned there is nothing wrong with him - it's everyone else that are causing the problems - there's only me & him but he has Capras Syndrome so thinks I am 3 different people!

 

[canary]

Would a mat alarm by his bed so that you are alerted when he starts to get up help you?
I think SS are able to provide this sort of thing and you dont have to have a diagnosis to get an assessment from SS

PS I have found a steam mop invaluable. You can also clean the area using a spray clean intended for pet "accidents" which helps with the smell enormously

 

[Chocco]

Would a mat alarm by his bed so that you are alerted when he starts to get up help you?
I think SS are able to provide this sort of thing and you dont have to have a diagnosis to get an assessment from SS

PS I have found a steam mop invaluable. You can also clean the area using a spray clean intended for pet "accidents" which helps with the smell enormously

Thanks @canary, I don't think we are ready for that yet but now I know they exist! Thanks for the tips, much appreciated

 

[Melles Belles]

@Chocco does your OH tend to urinate in the same spot every time? Could you put a ‘puppy’ pad in that place when you head off to bed?

 

[Chocco]

@Chocco does your OH tend to urinate in the same spot every time? Could you put a ‘puppy’ pad in that place when you head off to bed?

Thanks for the suggestion @Melles Belles but unfortunately never the same spot.
It would have worked well being that OH has blamed the dog!

 

[Melles Belles]

It’s not just your OH blaming a dog. When my daughter was 2 and she did her first poo in the potty, she got up turned round and said “urghhh, doggie did it”.

 

[Janch]

Hi, my OH somtimes can't find the toilet at night - we do have night lights plugged in. If I'm awake I usually direct him to the loo and put the seat up for him so he can see where to pee. Otherwise I find puddles in the bedroom or hallway and I've just been putting kitchen roll over them to deal with in the morning. He normally gets up first and the kitchen roll is all cleared up by the time I get up and not mentioned. Last night he started to be slightly aggresive when I tried to direct him so I just backed off and he pee'd in the hall. I did the usual with kitchen roll but this morning the wet kitchen roll is in a pile at the end of the hall!
So I'm expecting a conversation about it - do I tell him it's him urinating without realising he's not in the loo or do I say the dog has a problem? He hasn't been diagnosed, waiting for appointment with memory clinic, dementia never been mentioned.

Hi, my OH has Alzheimer’s and he does this in the night on the bedroom and hall carpets. The bathroom is just next to the bedroom and I get up to guide him if I am awake in time. I have put nightlights and signs showing him the way but it still happens. I am left cleaning up in the night while he goes back to bed saying he hasn’t done it, he has completely forgotten. This is leaving me so tired.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hi, my OH has Alzheimer’s and he does this in the night on the bedroom and hall carpets. The bathroom is just next to the bedroom and I get up to guide him if I am awake in time. I have put nightlights and signs showing him the way but it still happens. I am left cleaning up in the night while he goes back to bed saying he hasn’t done it, he has completely forgotten. This is leaving me so tired.

I am sorry to read this @Janch it is so tiring if we are constantly being woken at night. Would your husband consider wearing pull ups at night. I would also suggest that you contact the incontinence service at your local GP's for advice.

 

[Janch]

I am sorry to read this @Janch it is so tiring if we are constantly being woken at night. Would your husband consider wearing pull ups at night. I would also suggest that you contact the incontinence service at your local GP's for advice.

Thank you for your reply. I think I will have to contact the incontinence service, I don’t think he would wear pull ups or keep them on though.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Thank you for your reply. I think I will have to contact the incontinence service, I don’t think he would wear pull ups or keep them on though.

Some people use warning mats at the side of the bed to that an alarm goes off if their person with dementia gets up through the the night but it does still mean being disturbed every time they get up.
Even if you think your husband would not wear pull ups try and see what he says, you might be surprised.

 

[velademar]

Hi, my OH somtimes can't find the toilet at night - we do have night lights plugged in. If I'm awake I usually direct him to the loo and put the seat up for him so he can see where to pee. Otherwise I find puddles in the bedroom or hallway and I've just been putting kitchen roll over them to deal with in the morning. He normally gets up first and the kitchen roll is all cleared up by the time I get up and not mentioned. Last night he started to be slightly aggresive when I tried to direct him so I just backed off and he pee'd in the hall. I did the usual with kitchen roll but this morning the wet kitchen roll is in a pile at the end of the hall!
So I'm expecting a conversation about it - do I tell him it's him urinating without realising he's not in the loo or do I say the dog has a problem? He hasn't been diagnosed, waiting for appointment with memory clinic, dementia never been mentioned.

Same here but my OH has a diagnosis of ftd and does wear pull ups so, so far bed is OK but carpet and bathroom floor is not. We don't have a dog to blame, and he denies he's done it. Trying to get advice from local bladder and bowel clinic but still waiting for appointment x