Luckily in Scotland we are not having a full lockdown, but all the same, even with the prospect of a vaccine, some days it's difficult to carry on. Even after this, it wont be the same world we go back to. November is hard anyway, with all the remembrance stuff going on, plus the end of the month is mum's first anniversary. It feels worse than it was initially; I think more of her before dementia, the sweet, much-loved Irish woman who lost her first son and treasured me even the more. Since I do believe in some kind of survival, I have kept hoping I would have some sign that she is still there somewhere. She used to say " When I say my prayers, I pray for you" and " I loved you as soon as I saw you" I would reply that I could doubt many things but never that.
I got over 20 sympathy cards last year, but the awful feeling of isolation now really hits home. As I type they are playing Abide with me on the tv service from Westminster Abbey. I have always been a bit of a loner, with no friends nearby or any real family, so this is difficult. I am fine when I at work, but at home I flounder. I need to remind my self to wash dishes. Baby steps are all I can manage at times.
I got over 20 sympathy cards last year, but the awful feeling of isolation now really hits home. As I type they are playing Abide with me on the tv service from Westminster Abbey. I have always been a bit of a loner, with no friends nearby or any real family, so this is difficult. I am fine when I at work, but at home I flounder. I need to remind my self to wash dishes. Baby steps are all I can manage at times.
