Told off for advertising my Alzheimer's memory walk on FB

[Agzy]

My OH, who has AZ, and I have made plans for the future and always talk through the things we must prepare for in order that I, and her sons, know of her wishes for the times to come when decisions must be made by me or others. One of the things is charity involvement which in the past was regarding deafness and Tinnitus issues but now is Alzheimer's disease. We agreed that I would do the Liverpool memory walk and set up a donation page and share through FB social media but this has caused trouble in her family and me being told off for, "plastering her illness all over the Internet." Indeed one of her sons has placed a statement on the appeal page stating that his mum does not have dementia but is just getting old like everyone does! We are devastated and don't know what to do as we don't want her sons falling out with her. Sorry for rant but so shocked.

 

[marionq]

My daughter and grandson did the Pedal for Scotland and donated funds to Alzheimers. She used her Facebook page to let friends and family know and they were very generous and we were all very proud. This upset is about some bugbear her son has and not the decision you have come to. We have contributed to many charities which others have supported so why not this vital one to most of us the research into dementia?

You are right to b shocked.

 

[Grannie G]

I`m sorry to hear this Agzy. It`s obvious your wife`s son is one of those who is still ignorant about Dementia and in denial.

It`s a shame he doesn`t realise and appreciate what you are doing for his mother instead
of criticising.

 

[cragmaid]

Continue to post about Dementia, at least in the context of fundraising. Perhaps rephrase the personal link to " My wife and I support this worthy cause because we have experience of the effects this illness can have on families" or "Denying the existence of this disease does not mean a person does not have it..... it just denies them the chance for help. Help them to get the help they need now"


I know you don't want to cause a family row, but you and your wife have a right to say what you want on your FB page..... as long as it is not cruel to anyone else.

 

[oilovlam]

My OH, who has AZ, and I have made plans for the future and always talk through the things we must prepare for in order that I, and her sons, know of her wishes for the times to come when decisions must be made by me or others. One of the things is charity involvement which in the past was regarding deafness and Tinnitus issues but now is Alzheimer's disease. We agreed that I would do the Liverpool memory walk and set up a donation page and share through FB social media but this has caused trouble in her family and me being told off for, "plastering her illness all over the Internet." Indeed one of her sons has placed a statement on the appeal page stating that his mum does not have dementia but is just getting old like everyone does! We are devastated and don't know what to do as we don't want her sons falling out with her. Sorry for rant but so shocked.

Agzy, a tricky one. It could be that son is in denial or that they don't want the Alzheimer diagnosis to become common knowledge. I suppose they are protecting their mothers privacy.

As it is your facebook page then it might be sensible to de-personalise the page as suggested by Maureen (cragmaid). However I would quite understand why you wouldn't want to.

 

[northumbrian_k]

We were due to do a memory walk last year (our dog being sick stopped us doing it) and I used my FB page to advertise my Just Giving page amongst my friends. If one wishes to raise money via the walk then some sort of notice needs to be given to others as how otherwise raise the cash? I suppose it is possible to say that one is doing the walk to support the charity out of personal choice not necessarily because a loved one actually suffers from dementia. That might make things simpler. In our case many of my friends are aware of my wife's condition but also know that I supported the charity long before her diagnosis. We are hoping to do a walk this year but I am no longer on FB so will need to put the word out some other way to make it worthwhile from a money-raising point of view.

Ignore those who are in denial and carry on with the good work.

 

[PalSal]

Walk

It was interesting when my husband was first diagnosed at 49 his brothers were very suspicious of me and the diagnosis. It took their sister and wives to bring them around and time. Why would anyone make up such a diagnosis, it destroyed most of our hopes and dreams and certainly our financial security. I was in shock and anger for the first 5 years.....but now 14 years on they have some understanding of what we have losted....to a degree.
Regarding the walk--First, new media is the one great way to communicate what you are doing and reach as many people as possible.
Second, your partner has made it clear that she wants you to support fundraising for a cure for this disease which has a large hereditary component. Perhaps her sons are fearful for their own futureand this is their response.

Not your problem, do your walk and enjoy the day. I hope you raise a good deal of money for the cause.