Yet another post from me as this is such a great platform for corresponding with people who can see my point of view.
As I have said before Mum lives in her custom built three room annex on the back of my house, with my wife cooking, cleaning and doing her washing with 45 minutes paid carers six days per week (self funded). Mum is truly horrible to my wife who now just goes in to the annex to collect the washing or take in/collect mums meals trying to avoid contact as it always ends in a row or mums sarcasm. Cleaning of the annex is done when mum is at her day centre (three days a week)
Yesterday (Mothers Day) my brother called her for the first time this month and we overheard her telling my brother that I have "changed so much, he's really horrible, that wife of his has poisoned him towards me" If it wasn't for me and my wife mum would be in a care home, we didn't ask for this and certainly expected more help from brother and co.
Mum is pretty much incontinent and has pull ups changed twice a day, if she gets up in the night she removes the pull ups, goes to the loo and must urinate horizontally as the loo and floor are soaked. She has taken to leaving the pull ups off and hiding them, me, my wife, the carers have all told her to keep them on until she gets clean ones in the morning all to no avail. The smell of urine in the bathroom and bedroom/ bedding, permeates into the main house, it is awful. It is a permanent round of cleaning and bleaching, which if she would keep the pull ups on would not be such an issue. Yesterday my wife went in and got mum her change of pull ups and nightie, when she went back in to collect the clothes for washing, mum had put her blouse down the toilet (with urine in the toilet)
Mum is going in for a week's respite (self funded) next week just to give us a break, from the reaction of other family members you would think we are evil people for doing this. If my mum thinks my wife and I are so bad then maybe the time has come for a permanent care home? That isn't my mum, it is someone that looks like my mum but when she sees other members of the family (although rare) you wouldn't think there is much wrong with her, and they all treat her like a frail old lady which she relishes, but that isn't the real world.
As I have said before Mum lives in her custom built three room annex on the back of my house, with my wife cooking, cleaning and doing her washing with 45 minutes paid carers six days per week (self funded). Mum is truly horrible to my wife who now just goes in to the annex to collect the washing or take in/collect mums meals trying to avoid contact as it always ends in a row or mums sarcasm. Cleaning of the annex is done when mum is at her day centre (three days a week)
Yesterday (Mothers Day) my brother called her for the first time this month and we overheard her telling my brother that I have "changed so much, he's really horrible, that wife of his has poisoned him towards me" If it wasn't for me and my wife mum would be in a care home, we didn't ask for this and certainly expected more help from brother and co.
Mum is pretty much incontinent and has pull ups changed twice a day, if she gets up in the night she removes the pull ups, goes to the loo and must urinate horizontally as the loo and floor are soaked. She has taken to leaving the pull ups off and hiding them, me, my wife, the carers have all told her to keep them on until she gets clean ones in the morning all to no avail. The smell of urine in the bathroom and bedroom/ bedding, permeates into the main house, it is awful. It is a permanent round of cleaning and bleaching, which if she would keep the pull ups on would not be such an issue. Yesterday my wife went in and got mum her change of pull ups and nightie, when she went back in to collect the clothes for washing, mum had put her blouse down the toilet (with urine in the toilet)
Mum is going in for a week's respite (self funded) next week just to give us a break, from the reaction of other family members you would think we are evil people for doing this. If my mum thinks my wife and I are so bad then maybe the time has come for a permanent care home? That isn't my mum, it is someone that looks like my mum but when she sees other members of the family (although rare) you wouldn't think there is much wrong with her, and they all treat her like a frail old lady which she relishes, but that isn't the real world.