That other woman

[dymphna]

Just recently, my husband's sundowning sessions. Have become almost constant and by far the most distressing thing for both of us.
I first tried, to accept that I was not me, but would be back soon.
Where is she? Where have yiu taken her? How did you get here? Who are you? Why are you playing this cruel game? Stop it now"
He then became quite threatening and eventually left the house. After an hour , I called the police who after one more hour brought him back from eight miles away. Another similar confrontaion left him very angry and attemting violence. His truth was real and uncompromising, (as you all know) I have never seen him suffer so .much. The next day he told me about the evil woman intended to take over our home, poiison him, clear, our bank account, report us to the police She also recorded all he said.
He has been obsessed with this notion ever since, being extremely upset most of the time. I can hardly bear his suffering.
Do you think this phase will come to an end? Is there any strategy Ii could try?
Again, thanks for listening. Everyone.. and thanks for supplying so much to read. Hope all problems are resolving tbemselves
ove Dx

 

[jaymor]

My husband lost both me and our home some two years before he went into nursing home. He called me using his mobile to see where I was. When I answered he would talk to me and say he was waiting for me. My voice on the phone he recognised but not when I was talking to him when sitting by him.

When he asked where I was when we were in the house together I would tell him I was at work, at the shops, the hairdressers and would be back soon so let's make a cup of tea or a sandwich, anything to distract and change the subject.

Where the house was concerned I would take him a ride in the car and hopefully he would think I had taken him home. It never really worked. He would let himself into the house using his key and then call out to me that we were home. I asked him who I was and he called me the nice lady who looked after him while he waited for Jay.

Non of his visions were frightening to him. if they had of been I think I would have gone along the lines of saying I had spoken to the police and they had taken the person away and they would not be coming back. The same with any other concern he has. Let him know you have dealt with it and everything is fine now.

One day my husband said there was a young lad upstairs and he had the keys to my car. I just went upstairs came down again, opened the front door and shouted at the boy not to come back again or there would be trouble. I closed the door and went to tell my husband. He was smiling and said "that told him". It is just a case of trying to make them feel safe and something has been done. Does not always work but well worth a try. One day when he was in the assessment unit he was seeing ants all over the floor so we both spent about a quarter of an hour stamping on all the little blighters. A carer brought us a cup of tea and as he went out he stamped his foot and told my husband he had just killed the last one. Job well done said my husband.

If your husband is really disturbed by what he is seeing have a word with his GP or someone from mental health, they may be able to help him through this bad patch.

Jay

 

[marionq]

Just saw these posts and could not pass by. You are doing superhuman work here ladies and I congratulate you while knowing you would prefer to be on planet normal with your partners. The future is unpredictable but so far I have not had to face anything so trying but I will think of you if I do.

Very best wishes.

 

[Izzy]

I have to say that this is what I dread most. Bill sometimes calls me Jean. That was his sister who died when she was 21. So far he still know is me. I so hope I can have a while yet before things change.

Thinking of you ladies. x