Still crying now.

[aggy84]

Im new to the board but unfortunately not new to loss and loss of dementia.
I lost my Grandad Feb 2009. and it's a horrible way to see someone you truly love and care about leaving you, I still cry about it now. Ive found it the hardest loss to deal with, whether it's because i never truly got to say goodbye because he left long before i'm not sure.
Its hard to understand and those who haven't experienced a loved one going through it, really dont acknowledge how difficult it is.
I cant even describe how much i miss him.

 

[Helen33]

Der Aggy,

I would like to offer a warm WELCOME to Talking Point. I lost my husband in February of this year. I hope that you find Talking Point to be as supportive as I do.

Love

 

[Necion]

Aggy hi, welcome to TP from me too.
You are so right, it is an awful loss, and they are taken from us twice. It makes grieving very confusing. We kinda get to know and accept the person and the dementia veil in front of them, then....wollop it hits us again!

It's now about 30 years since my dad was struck with dementia, nothing like as much info around then, no treatments whatever kind it was, no internet to learn by. The loss was the same though, and I can still remember the veil of dementia as well as my 'real' dad.

As long as your Grandad lives on in your heart, you will never truly loose him. You were obviously very close, so I assume you have many great memories to hold on to. You must have learned a lot from him too, can you let that be his legacy to you so that you can go forward with your life armed with the love and wisdom your Grandad gave.

Everyone needs to grieve, each in our own way, in our own time - until we are ready to go forward and carry the celebration of those we had the privilege of knowing into our normal, everyday lives.

Even although we go through similar losses, we can never actually feel the pain of others, we feel our own pain, regardless of how the loss came about.
I feel pain for you, Aggie, give yourself time, and this pain will change to a warm loving glow in your heart, the memory of Grandad.

Do take care,
Love, Necion. x

 

[Norrms]

Hello

Hello my friend and i just want to say a big welcome to Talking Point, the best forum in the world without a doubt. i pray you will find all the support and advice you need on here and hope we can all help, best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxx

 

[Skye]

Aggy, welcome from me too.

You responded to my thread, so I know you understand that I'm feeling the pain too.

I'm relieved to feel the pain, for me it is a tribute to my lovely husband. I know it will stay with me now, though, and become part of who I am. As Necion says, it will through time become a 'warm, loving glow'.

I know John's influence changed me for the better, and I'm sure your Grandad did the same for you.

I hope you will stay with us, so that we can support each other.

Love,

 

[Gdavies]

Hi aggy,

I'm knew to talking point also, and I lost my Nan in july this year. I also feel as if I never truly got to say good bye too her, as I felt I lost her a long time ago. I miss her everyday.

There is a poem that Id like to share with you and it comforts me, I hope it does the same for you.

'No person is ever truly alone,
Those who live no more,
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughs,
Our words, our hearts,
and what they did and who they were,
Becomes apart of all that we are forever.'

 

[aggy84]

Thank you for such kind words and a warm welcome.
I feel more comforted by the fact i'm not a lone. Gemma, that poem was lovely. Many thanks I'm always here to chat so if anyone fancies talking let me know.

I had a knee operation last year after snapping my ACL whilst working a season in France, so i've given myself a challenge to run on behalf of Alzheimer's Society for the Womens adidas 5k next September. So a challenge for me but i get to run for Grandad and all others we've lost to dementia.

I'd love to organise some more big events... maybe we could all club together to try and think what we could do?
xx

 

[Owl]

Dear Aggy,
My husband died in June this year after years of suffering with dementia. When I think back on what happened during those years, I am no longer surprised or worried at the devastating effect his death has had on me, physically and mentally; I now have to fight my own battle back to good health - because this is what he would have wanted and it isn't easy, it is hard (I am 81 now) I have kept his toys and picture books and will never forget his last words "Don't worry
These words were printed on the Service sheet of Celebration of His life. The memories and love I leave behind
Are yours to keep
I have found my rest; I have turned my face
To the sun, and now I sleep.
Be strong for his sake and your own --- with Love from owl.