Something is Amiss

[faithy]

My husband Tom, as you know has always called me multiple times - day or night, work or home (or both) - something is off in the last couple of days, usually he hunts down his aide, gets very anxious around 1 (he goes to bed at 1:30) in the afternoon - as he cannot stay up for long periods - the last three days he hasn't done that, and today, he hasn't called me? which is strange - I feel something is amiss, whether another stroke or not, I don't know as i am not a doctor. But something is off. Has anyone one else experienced this with their love one? He had a large MCA right stroke, due to sepsis in 06 which affected his whole left side. And he has dementia, which over the years is progressing. He still knows me, does retain some things at the present, and remembers the past, but his behavior as of the last 4 days is very amiss.
Thanks!

 

[Noorza]

My husband Tom, as you know has always called me multiple times - day or night, work or home (or both) - something is off in the last couple of days, usually he hunts down his aide, gets very anxious around 1 (he goes to bed at 1:30) in the afternoon - as he cannot stay up for long periods - the last three days he hasn't done that, and today, he hasn't called me? which is strange - I feel something is amiss, whether another stroke or not, I don't know as i am not a doctor. But something is off. Has anyone one else experienced this with their love one? He had a large MCA right stroke, due to sepsis in 06 which affected his whole left side. And he has dementia, which over the years is progressing. He still knows me, does retain some things at the present, and remembers the past, but his behavior as of the last 4 days is very amiss.
Thanks!

I assume he is in a home, have you spoken to his carers about this?

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Hoping all is well. Is there some way you can find out for sure? Just to ease your mind.
Stephanie, xxx

 

[faithy]

I assume he is in a home, have you spoken to his carers about this?

he is not at home, he was at home for the first 2 1/2 years, got pneumonia, seizures and mini strokes, had to be in a nursing home, I did email his np and let her know, and I have a good relationship with nurses and aides there -he finally did call me..sounds ok but very quiet. I guess I will always be concerned for him.

 

[faithy]

Hoping all is well. Is there some way you can find out for sure? Just to ease your mind.
Stephanie, xxx

Thanks he did call me, quiet but ok. I do feel something is amiss..I see him every other day, before work and on the weekends - and he has a phone, like I said above post, I have a great relationship with the people at the nursing home where he is at.

 

[sue38]

Whenever I hear of a sudden downturn or change I think 'UTI'. I would ask the home to keep an extra eye on him and if possible ask that he be tested for a urinary infection.

 

[faithy]

Whenever I hear of a sudden downturn or change I think 'UTI'. I would ask the home to keep an extra eye on him and if possible ask that he be tested for a urinary infection.

Actually,
that is what happened to Tom three weeks ago - they were supposed to retest him -haven't as of yet. He is very larthargic - less phone calls - etc - they are blaming in on his new schedule - his favorite aide is getting him out of bed and an hour later - that is not an answer for me - I think it is something else...

 

[lin1]

Hello Faithy
When my Mum had UTIs , it often took two courses of different Antibiotics to clear the infection then a further week or two for Mum to get back to her old self , I suggest you ask for them to re test your Husband for infection

Trust your instincts, you know your Husband better than anyone else.

 

[faithy]

Hello Faithy
When my Mum had UTIs , it often took two courses of different Antibiotics to clear the infection then a further week or two for Mum to get back to her old self , I suggest you ask for them to re test your Husband for infection

Trust your instincts, you know your Husband better than anyone else.

I am going tomorrow and I had planned to have him retested. I do think he has another UTI - for him not to call me like this, something is wrong, I also spoke to his np and she said, the nursing home is aware and watch him.

 

[Izzy]

I hope you can find out what the problem is and get some help for your husband. xx

 

[faithy]

I hope you can find out what the problem is and get some help for your husband. xx

thank you- has been very quiet, eating tuna which in 4 plus years he wouldn't eat there, and has called me once in the morning instead of the usual 5-7.

 

[Mamsgirl]

Hi Faithy,

It's so hard isn't it? My Mum for a time was unable to have two minutes to herself without my stepfather ringing, often Mum promised to call back when her meal was finished etc., but SF would forget and be back on the blower within ten minutes. Often much less The constant calls were wearing (I was next in line if Mum didn't answer), but I'd give anything to hear him booming "G'day Darlin" one more time.

I hadn't really made the connection until reading your thread, but if Mum hadn't heard from SF by mid-morning she'd start to worry. A carer would check on him and find he was sleeping, and then yes, usually it meant he wasn't 100%. A couple of times he was unwell but mostly he was worn out from being cross and frustrated at not being able to get to the phone.

I spent time every day with him and more than a few times I found him very upset because the phone hadn't been placed within reach after he was transferred from bed to recliner. Poor soul would ring the bell to ask a carer for the phone, but if they took too long to answer he'd forget what he wanted to ask them.

We ended up gaffer taping the lead into the phone and the power board they "fell out" so often, and one time he thought the world had turned its back on him because nobody had called in days. SF's hearing was barely there, and the phone's volume was at the lowest setting.

I do hope it's something like this in your husband's case, and that he's just forgotten his tuna prejudice.

Hope you find him much improved when you visit,
Toni x

 

[faithy]

Hi Faithy,

It's so hard isn't it? My Mum for a time was unable to have two minutes to herself without my stepfather ringing, often Mum promised to call back when her meal was finished etc., but SF would forget and be back on the blower within ten minutes. Often much less The constant calls were wearing (I was next in line if Mum didn't answer), but I'd give anything to hear him booming "G'day Darlin" one more time.

I hadn't really made the connection until reading your thread, but if Mum hadn't heard from SF by mid-morning she'd start to worry. A carer would check on him and find he was sleeping, and then yes, usually it meant he wasn't 100%. A couple of times he was unwell but mostly he was worn out from being cross and frustrated at not being able to get to the phone.

I spent time every day with him and more than a few times I found him very upset because the phone hadn't been placed within reach after he was transferred from bed to recliner. Poor soul would ring the bell to ask a carer for the phone, but if they took too long to answer he'd forget what he wanted to ask them.

We ended up gaffer taping the lead into the phone and the power board they "fell out" so often, and one time he thought the world had turned its back on him because nobody had called in days. SF's hearing was barely there, and the phone's volume was at the lowest setting.

I do hope it's something like this in your husband's case, and that he's just forgotten his tuna prejudice.

Hope you find him much improved when you visit,
Toni x

thank you Toni,
he was actually worse this morning, I found him sleeping with his eyes and mouth open, I had the aide shake him because I thought he had died. I never saw that in my life, and let me tell you it was eerie. I did speak to a therapist this morning, and she said (just like you mentioned here) that as the dementia progressed, he would forget about getting his usual cheeseburger, and when given just two choices he would pick one and not add to it (thus tuna) - and yes, if he died, I would miss the phone calls and the visits, even though it drives me crazy! Thanks, God bless you

 

[Mamsgirl]

Do they have any idea why he's behaving differently or is assumed to be all dementia progression?

 

[faithy]

Do they have any idea why he's behaving differently or is assumed to be all dementia progression?[/QUOTEt

spoke to nurse, said it was dementia related, just another change..he always had a cheeseburger for dinner, (they give you two choices, for lunch and dinner) and he just wanted cheeseburger for the longest time (my suggestion) now when they give him two choices at dinner - he picks one of the two, like the burger just disappeared - just have to get used to this change in him, and like everything else in life, one you get used to it, it changes once again -

 

[Mamsgirl]

Never quite knowing what's what is so hard. Hope he's closing his eyes now when he sleeps, eerie's the word for it, remember it well. Phone still silent?
Look after yourself,
Toni x

 

[faithy]

Never quite knowing what's what is so hard. Hope he's closing his eyes now when he sleeps, eerie's the word for it, remember it well. Phone still silent?
Look after yourself,
Toni x

phone was active today - 5 phone calls - but....his regular caregiver was off - we shall see what tomorrow brings - and keeping him in bed later makes a huge difference -
Faith xoxo