She thinks she smokes!

[Metalpetal]

OK, this is today’s potential challenge! The last few times my brother or I have spoken to mum via facetiming the hospital, she’s asked us to get her some cigarettes. She stopped smoking 9 years ago, after a triple bypass and valve replacement!! She was a very heavy smoker until then - at least 40 Marlborough 100’s a day.

Our concern is that she’ll somehow manage to get some when she gets home, and start again! Has anyone had experience of this happening? Hopefully it’s just a ‘memory of a habit’ that she’s somehow conjuring up, rather than it being any real deep urge to smoke?

She doesn’t have any shops nearby, and I suppose as long as we tell her carers not to get her any (I doubt they would anyway) then it’s all quite low risk. But I wonder if we should steady ourselves for this being a repeated request from her?

 

[Grannie G]

My husband was an ex smoker @Metalpetal and he started to ask for cigarettes after he had been in residential care for a while.

I have no idea what triggered this because as an ex smoker he became extremely anti smoking as so many do. I bought him a dummy cigarette but he saw through that immediately

Because he was in residential care I was able to tell him there was no smoking on the premises and he stopped asking eventually.

If your mum returns to her own home it might be more difficult but for now, while she is in hospital, you can tell her it`s not allowed. Because of the virus it might be a while before she is discharged and by then let`s hope this will have passed.

 

[Louise7]

Hopefully it’s just a ‘memory of a habit’ that she’s somehow conjuring up, rather than it being any real deep urge to smoke?

It could be due to something as simple as seeing another patient being allowed out to smoke and your mum thinking that if she has some cigarettes she could go out (escape!) too

 

[Metalpetal]

Thanks both Yes let's see what happens once she's either home, or in an alternative place of care. She uses electronic cigarettes now (it was the only way she managed to stop!) and the hospital are allowing her to have one (with no 'stuff' in it, so it doesn't 'smoke'). Maybe she'll continue to be happy with those once she's home, and the craving for a real cigarette will disappear

 

[Grannie G]

When my grandmother was in residential care, in those days smoking was allowed but matches and lighters were not allowed. My grandmother did not have dementia and objected strongly to her independence being compromised.

On one visit she pointed an accusing finger at my mother saying `you've got my money` and then to me `and you`ve got my cigarettes`.

It was painful seeing this woman who had been so strong and independent all her life knowing she no longer had her liberty and was at the mercy of others.

 

[Louise7]

She uses electronic cigarettes now (it was the only way she managed to stop!) and the hospital are allowing her to have one (with no 'stuff' in it, so it doesn't 'smoke').

Ah, that explains why she is asking for cigarettes - an electronic cigarette with no 'stuff' in it won't taste of anything