My mother went into a memory care home about 6 weeks ago. She is having a hard time adjusting and says she hates it there and wishes she would die. She also cries a lot when visiting. There are 5 of us kids that take turns going to visit her weekly. She does some activities but does not interact with any of the other residents there. I would say she is in her middle stages of Alzheimer's. She will go eat for dinner and cannot remember what she had if you ask her a 1/2 hour later. It's hard to have a conversation with her because no matter what you say, we are wrong. Some advise on how to get her more comfortable in her new home.
Settling in
- Thread starter jpsavior
- Start date
She probably needs more time to get used to the home. My mum has been in nearly 10 months now and for some reason still thinks this is a temporary place until the council find her somewhere else. She can't remember what's happened in the last 10 minutes either. So just hang in there and give it plenty of time. With regard to not being able to talk to her, this site has a link to information on talking to a dementia sufferer in a compassionate way, so hopefully someone will put the link on for you. It's taken me a long time, but I've just about got used to how to sit there and talk to her, albeit we often sit and talk nonsense!
Hi @jpsavior and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community. I am sorry to hear about your mother. I agree with the others that it can take a long time for a person to accept their new living situation and, with luck, settle into the rhythm of the place. Doing activities and interacting with others are not always suited to the person. As for conversation, my wife spoke to me more today than she has for several months (she has been in her care home for 4.5 years) but - although individual sentences made sense - what she said was not coherent. We have become accustomed to getting mutual pleasure through touch, gestures, songs, smiles and talking nonsense.
