My OH has been living with dementia for over 3 years now and I am his only carer. After getting through a host of issues, I'm hoping I might get some new ideas of how to cope/support him with the latest changes.
It is almost like a phobia for bathrooms has developed. Washing and toileting have been a problem for quite some time but I now can't get him anywhere near water. Luckily someone suggested using a foam gel cleaner which is slightly easier although I still have to use it very discreetly. If he sees me coming towards him with anything that looks like I might wipe or clean him he really struggles. I'm really worried about his personal cleanliness and sometimes this means that we don't go out if he is very unclean and smells. I worry that he can catch infections and develop skin problems over time so any suggestions about how to overcome or improve this would be great. I have been unable to access any help with personal care due to capacity in the area I live. I have been pretty relaxed about this as I do think that making him do things at a set time may increase his distress and I'm happy to go with a time when he can cope but this is sometimes meaning that we miss things and some of the groups we go to which I feel are very important for both of us
Using the toilet has been a 'no, no' for quite some time but I thought we'd got over the worst of this when he finally started to bear wearing the pull-up pants. He hates them but after I plea with how much easier they make life for me, he usually does wear them. We then started to get more problems with staying dry at night. I have not been able to find any pants that can keep him dry through the night. I have discovered Kylie bed sheets which are great but I'm usually having to cope with two loads of washing each night - 2 bedsheets and 2 sets of pyjamas. I also feel so sorry for my partner having to put up with pull up pants and still ending up soaked every night.
I've booked us onto two holidays this year (ones that are tailored around people with dementia). we went on one last year and it was amazing - loads of support and surrounded by people who totally understood. Due to the problems with nightime wetting in particular I'm really worried about if we should be going away at all. The places we stay are clearly places that understand some of the problems likely to arise but I worry that asking someone else to do the same level of washing is quite 'an ask' so trying to see if I can find any help at all???
It is almost like a phobia for bathrooms has developed. Washing and toileting have been a problem for quite some time but I now can't get him anywhere near water. Luckily someone suggested using a foam gel cleaner which is slightly easier although I still have to use it very discreetly. If he sees me coming towards him with anything that looks like I might wipe or clean him he really struggles. I'm really worried about his personal cleanliness and sometimes this means that we don't go out if he is very unclean and smells. I worry that he can catch infections and develop skin problems over time so any suggestions about how to overcome or improve this would be great. I have been unable to access any help with personal care due to capacity in the area I live. I have been pretty relaxed about this as I do think that making him do things at a set time may increase his distress and I'm happy to go with a time when he can cope but this is sometimes meaning that we miss things and some of the groups we go to which I feel are very important for both of us
Using the toilet has been a 'no, no' for quite some time but I thought we'd got over the worst of this when he finally started to bear wearing the pull-up pants. He hates them but after I plea with how much easier they make life for me, he usually does wear them. We then started to get more problems with staying dry at night. I have not been able to find any pants that can keep him dry through the night. I have discovered Kylie bed sheets which are great but I'm usually having to cope with two loads of washing each night - 2 bedsheets and 2 sets of pyjamas. I also feel so sorry for my partner having to put up with pull up pants and still ending up soaked every night.
I've booked us onto two holidays this year (ones that are tailored around people with dementia). we went on one last year and it was amazing - loads of support and surrounded by people who totally understood. Due to the problems with nightime wetting in particular I'm really worried about if we should be going away at all. The places we stay are clearly places that understand some of the problems likely to arise but I worry that asking someone else to do the same level of washing is quite 'an ask' so trying to see if I can find any help at all???
