Hi,
Long story short, my mother suffers from FTD/PPA for over 7 years now. 5 years ago I was told she had 3 months to live. You can understand the situation: it's the usual 'care home is well intended but is not a hospital' and 'hospital is well intended but is not a care home'. There were times when my mother was move back and forth between the two, 5 times a week.
Like so many others on this forums, I'm beside myself with grief as my mother is not eating 'properly' for over 4 months now. She's very frail, and everyone willing to speak on the topic is asking the question you must be asking yourself: 'how is it even possible'. I understand this forum is for everyone and therefore we have to be extremely careful how we phrase things, but to describe her state, how she sounds, looks and feels, look no further than the call i had with the director of the care home she's in i had this morning, where even her was sobbing uncontrollably - that's how bad my mother is, and yet, she lives.
I do have a question: why are we seeing so many different testimonies on these forums. In the space of 30 minutes, I read messages where people were able to contact their GP from within the care home (my mother's care home has a gp -so external GPs are out of the question), and other really , really different takes on the topic.
I'm therefore forced to think about 'is my mother even in the right country at this point'. I had her transferred to Spain through private means because at the time, it made the most sense: better weather , better staff and better overall facilities than my native France. But today, there's no need for 'fancy' facilities. She needs love and she needs professionals who know what palliative care is, as you may not know but palliative care didn't even exist in Spain until 2011.
So, i might need to move her to somewhere where she'll be better care for. But moving someone who is in a semi-vegetative state is so dangerous, so irresponsible, and so unethical, that you won't find a single private or public ambulance willing. No one wants the legal liability that comes with the unfathomable risk.
Which leads me to my question: what should I do? My mother is suffering , I'm at the end of my rope, physically and mentally, the staff in the care home is not trained for palliative situation, and no hospital will take her in spain as palliative units do not exists - and i can't move her. So what do I do?
Thank you.
Long story short, my mother suffers from FTD/PPA for over 7 years now. 5 years ago I was told she had 3 months to live. You can understand the situation: it's the usual 'care home is well intended but is not a hospital' and 'hospital is well intended but is not a care home'. There were times when my mother was move back and forth between the two, 5 times a week.
Like so many others on this forums, I'm beside myself with grief as my mother is not eating 'properly' for over 4 months now. She's very frail, and everyone willing to speak on the topic is asking the question you must be asking yourself: 'how is it even possible'. I understand this forum is for everyone and therefore we have to be extremely careful how we phrase things, but to describe her state, how she sounds, looks and feels, look no further than the call i had with the director of the care home she's in i had this morning, where even her was sobbing uncontrollably - that's how bad my mother is, and yet, she lives.
I do have a question: why are we seeing so many different testimonies on these forums. In the space of 30 minutes, I read messages where people were able to contact their GP from within the care home (my mother's care home has a gp -so external GPs are out of the question), and other really , really different takes on the topic.
I'm therefore forced to think about 'is my mother even in the right country at this point'. I had her transferred to Spain through private means because at the time, it made the most sense: better weather , better staff and better overall facilities than my native France. But today, there's no need for 'fancy' facilities. She needs love and she needs professionals who know what palliative care is, as you may not know but palliative care didn't even exist in Spain until 2011.
So, i might need to move her to somewhere where she'll be better care for. But moving someone who is in a semi-vegetative state is so dangerous, so irresponsible, and so unethical, that you won't find a single private or public ambulance willing. No one wants the legal liability that comes with the unfathomable risk.
Which leads me to my question: what should I do? My mother is suffering , I'm at the end of my rope, physically and mentally, the staff in the care home is not trained for palliative situation, and no hospital will take her in spain as palliative units do not exists - and i can't move her. So what do I do?
Thank you.
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