New to the forum

[KatyLB1]

Hello. This forum has been recommended to me by one of the Alzheimer’s nurses. My 77 Mum has frontotemporal dementia. She is under section 3 and currently on a psychiatric ward. She has had a very distressing time. She started in march with some strange behaviour and we took her to a&e worrying that she may have had a stroke. She was diagnosed with delirium and later psychosis and put on a section in April. She had a very difficult time on an acute mental health ward where she was attacked by other patients. She was so frightened in there. She was diagnosed with ftd in august and has rapidly declined. She is barely eating or leaving her bed. Her memory is still very much there but she is severely depressed. I have fought and appealed to have the section removed and to bring her home but they took it out of my hands and kept her under section. They are currently looking at enhanced nursing homes for her, it’s all very overwhelming and it’s happened so quickly. I miss my mum and the relationship we had and I’m just trying to navigate life with visiting my mum as much as possible, being a mum myself and working.
I feel that she has been completely let down by the system since day 1 and I’m not going to give up on her, although she tells me she wants to die 😢

 

[pandion]

Hello. This forum has been recommended to me by one of the Alzheimer’s nurses. My 77 Mum has frontotemporal dementia. She is under section 3 and currently on a psychiatric ward. She has had a very distressing time. She started in march with some strange behaviour and we took her to a&e worrying that she may have had a stroke. She was diagnosed with delirium and later psychosis and put on a section in April. She had a very difficult time on an acute mental health ward where she was attacked by other patients. She was so frightened in there. She was diagnosed with ftd in august and has rapidly declined. She is barely eating or leaving her bed. Her memory is still very much there but she is severely depressed. I have fought and appealed to have the section removed and to bring her home but they took it out of my hands and kept her under section. They are currently looking at enhanced nursing homes for her, it’s all very overwhelming and it’s happened so quickly. I miss my mum and the relationship we had and I’m just trying to navigate life with visiting my mum as much as possible, being a mum myself and working.
I feel that she has been completely let down by the system since day 1 and I’m not going to give up on her, although she tells me she wants to die 😢

Hi @KatyLB1. I'm sorry for everything you're going through with your mum, it must be so distressing. Your post chimed with me, having been through something kind of similar with my mum this year. I had to call an ambulance for her back in April, she was in hospital a while and was then discharged to a care home where she still is, and will probably be in a care home permanently. It's all been quite traumatic, and 8 months later I'm still coming to terms with it all. Like you, I miss my mum and my relationship with her and am still figuring out how to interact with her and how to deal with everything that now needs dealing with, and there is so much. It's been incredibly difficult, not least because mum really doesn't want to be in a care home, and it can be heartbreaking to think about that. But I wanted to say that the last few weeks I have started to feel more positive. Mum has made a lot of improvement since being in the home and I know she is looked after there. I really hope that a lovely nursing home is found for your mum, and that she settles in and is happy there, and you can start to rebuild your relationship with her. I know at the moment it might not feel like this is possible. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings - it's a kind of grief, because it's a kind of loss, and it's important to recognise that. Don't beat yourself up because you're doing everything you can for her. And hang in there, it will get better.