Hello, I’m new here… I live about 200 miles away from my mother (79) so we haven’t seen each other regularly. We were due to meet up in London at Easter as it’s halfway between where we live, but she was ill and called it off. The next thing I knew she was rambling and delusional. I got an emergency doctor out who found nothing wrong with her (!) and told her to see her GP after Easter. He diagnosed a UTI and gave her antibiotics, which she didn’t take. I came down to see her and found her very cold, businesslike, remote – like a stranger. The next thing was a phone call at Easter from the police who had picked her up in the street trying to get into someone’s car in a very confused state.
She was taken to hospital and treated for the UTI but also diagnosed with early stage dementia. I went to see her a couple of times during the next two weeks and found her very rambling and delusional, easily distracted and childlike. She hasn’t been told of the dementia, and was discharged two days ago while I was at work on the grounds she was fit to go home (!). I told the nurses I had concerns but they seemed surprised. The antibiotics seem to have made no difference to her mental state.
The dementia support team met her at home and prompted her to phone me as she couldn’t remember my number. I was taken aback to find myself dealing with what seemed like a completely different personality – the one I met just before Easter. This one is cold, coherent, self-centred and presumably the one the medical staff have seen. In her absence I’d cleaned the house, replaced a leaking toilet, installed television for her, cleared a blocked drain, thrown out the rubbish and made a start on the garden. Her response was to ask if I’d paid any of her bills, say the garden looked a mess and ask why hadn’t I fixed the side gate.
It may all have been brewing up but I never expected this and feel somewhat stunned by the speed of events. This has all blown up in the past 3 weeks. We have no care plan in place because my mother won’t have one. In the end the hospital discharged her with just the standard personal care plan of someone to come round and wash and dress her, which she doesn’t need, so we cancelled it. I’m now a bit stuck. And bewildered. I don’t really know what to expect or where to turn – or how to find funding for what will be needed as my mother will emphatically not agree to care.
Sorry this is so long... just need to talk I guess. The “split personality” thing is particularly disconcerting. The cold one isn’t someone I want to spend time with, especially alone – she feels like a stranger, and not a very nice one. But she’s my mother…
She was taken to hospital and treated for the UTI but also diagnosed with early stage dementia. I went to see her a couple of times during the next two weeks and found her very rambling and delusional, easily distracted and childlike. She hasn’t been told of the dementia, and was discharged two days ago while I was at work on the grounds she was fit to go home (!). I told the nurses I had concerns but they seemed surprised. The antibiotics seem to have made no difference to her mental state.
The dementia support team met her at home and prompted her to phone me as she couldn’t remember my number. I was taken aback to find myself dealing with what seemed like a completely different personality – the one I met just before Easter. This one is cold, coherent, self-centred and presumably the one the medical staff have seen. In her absence I’d cleaned the house, replaced a leaking toilet, installed television for her, cleared a blocked drain, thrown out the rubbish and made a start on the garden. Her response was to ask if I’d paid any of her bills, say the garden looked a mess and ask why hadn’t I fixed the side gate.
It may all have been brewing up but I never expected this and feel somewhat stunned by the speed of events. This has all blown up in the past 3 weeks. We have no care plan in place because my mother won’t have one. In the end the hospital discharged her with just the standard personal care plan of someone to come round and wash and dress her, which she doesn’t need, so we cancelled it. I’m now a bit stuck. And bewildered. I don’t really know what to expect or where to turn – or how to find funding for what will be needed as my mother will emphatically not agree to care.
Sorry this is so long... just need to talk I guess. The “split personality” thing is particularly disconcerting. The cold one isn’t someone I want to spend time with, especially alone – she feels like a stranger, and not a very nice one. But she’s my mother…
