Hello everyone, a big thank you to everyone for getting me through the last 12 months whilst I have been agonising over what on earth has been happening to me in this new world that I officially joined last Friday. I found reading your posts reassuring and comforting when I simply didn’t know what was going on. The shock of the bvFTD diagnosis has yet to sink in, but when I look at the potential clinical signs and symptoms my husband ticks every box and explains why I have spent the last couple of years feeling so confused, angry, sad and desperate. I was shocked by the instant revoking of his driving licence and being told I needed to activate POA immediately to protect myself financially and also to make all health and welfare decisions on my OH’s behalf. I think I am in for a bumpy ride (to put it mildly) but it feels reassuring to have a safe place to tell people how it really is as the last thing I need is people judging me for being less than perfect when they have no idea what the reality of this condition brings on a daily basis!
New diagnosis of bvFTD
- Thread starter Bunty58
- Start date
Hi @Bunty58 we received my husband’s BvFTD diagnosis on the 4 August 2021, so I am 2 years ahead of you!
I had organised POA after something showed up on his first scan, it was another eight months of tests and appointments before his BVFTD diagnosis. I had discussed my husband’s driving with his GP, the Psychiatrist and Neurologist prior to diagnosis, they had all been happy for him to drive, my husband presented very well, but the results of his Neuropsychology Test showed that his executive function and his ability to react quickly was badly affected , my husband was obv not happy with this. The DVLA revoked his license. He never accepted it, it’s been very difficult to deal with!
I had organised POA after something showed up on his first scan, it was another eight months of tests and appointments before his BVFTD diagnosis. I had discussed my husband’s driving with his GP, the Psychiatrist and Neurologist prior to diagnosis, they had all been happy for him to drive, my husband presented very well, but the results of his Neuropsychology Test showed that his executive function and his ability to react quickly was badly affected , my husband was obv not happy with this. The DVLA revoked his license. He never accepted it, it’s been very difficult to deal with!
Thank you, I had seen the writing on the wall as they say at the beginning of this year and completed POA forms and I am so glad I did or it would have been too late! I am on a steep learning curve with regard to this diagnosis as it came as a complete shock. Very surprisingly it has gone completely over Mike’s head and he seems completely ok with handing over his driving license and bank cards and I’m not going to argue about it, although I am sure it will change shortly as he has spent the last fortnight wanting me arrested for theft 🙈. I wasn’t sure before last Friday which one of us was losing the plot, but now I am beginning to understand what is happening and why I think that might help me to temper my responses to his bizarre thought processes!
Hi Bunty. Glad you found the forum. Yes it's a bumpy road but we are all in the same boat. Some further on than others.
I have to keep telling myself it's the dementia but not easy to stay calm.
Plenty of nice people on here who understand what you are going through. Take care of yourself.
I have to keep telling myself it's the dementia but not easy to stay calm.
Plenty of nice people on here who understand what you are going through. Take care of yourself.
I think for myself it’s been difficult to except my spouse’s diagnosis of bvftd. I still find myself wanting to argue with him. . He is verbally abusive sometimes and his moods are unpredictable. When one person is the caregiver it is very hard. I just have to take breaks and go outside or to my sons house.
I can totally relate to you. It isn't easy. I keep telling myself its Dementia but he has always been verbally abusive if things don't go his way so hard not to see it as 'normal' behaviour' and bit back. I also have to go outside for a break, its certainly a lot harder when we are the only care giver.
As a carer I find it hard to cope with my husband when he is short tempered and seems angry with me all the time! He has always been quite abusive and so it took me ages to accept it as part of the condition. I have developed an "ear worm". It means I have a little tune that I sing in my head. Its a perfectly mundane ordinary little tune that I hum, but in my head I sing some very rude words to it! It sounds mean but it makes me feel a bit better about whatever has been said and I have not caused any more tension or hostility. I feel then I have dealt with my own frustrations and have not been disrespectful to him. It works for me.
I can relate to that. Mine seems to be angry all the time. I try to talk but just ends in argument because it doesn't go his way. I'm trying really hard to let it go over my shoulder but boy is it hard. I think it makes it harder when they have always been abusive because we can't see just how much it is that and the frustration of what they can't do anymore or the actual dementia taking place. I certainly can't reason with mine. I've tried singing in my head, then do it out loud when he starts but doesn't seem to work with me as he still manages to gets to me.
Hello, Bunty and all. My husband has either Alz or FTD, MDs still trying to figure out which. Said he's surrender license until after one last road trip. At destination city, he drove over a curb and damaged the rental car's undercarriage. He refused to have it checked out. When we returned the rental car (after a long highway drive home), one tire blew out as he was driving the car onto the rental agency lot. They found extensive damage and told us we were extremely lucky that we had not had a major accident on the highway. Insisting on surrender of licence could save your life and others'.
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