My Story

[Tony44]

Hi I'm new to the site but here goes with our story my wife who is older than I am, is suffering with Vascular Dementia she is also double incontinent for about 6 years but that is nothing to do with her dementia. She has tried different tablets with terrible side effects so we decide that some quality of life was better than these tablets, She is currently on Sertraline which is a Anti depressant and is working well, I am about 12 years younger than her, we have been married for 40 odd years and have had a good marriage.
We are coping well but I am unable to leave her, she knows that everything is safe and sound when I am with her. Which does put a lot of strain on me I don't have any life of my own. Unfortunately her sister and brother in law and a great friend all passed away about 2 years ago all with in a short time so I'm quite lonely and bored these days, but I have a lot to be grateful for. We are very lucky were are still in love and she has a sense of humour although she does get confused who I am sometimes I'm grateful she is still with me, albeit a former shadow of herself.
We did try join various meetings but too many people and noise her mind wasn't able to cope just got very confused so we don't go now. One of the problems I have is she doesn't engaged in any conversation unless one to one,so its difficult to make new friends I'm not good at women's small talk
The reason writing my story is please don't give up there is still a person in there, they do respond to Love, Cuddles and Kisses well at least mine does.
I do understand how difficult it is. Don't despair there is help out there just ask Doctors,Heath Centre, Princess Royal Trust and your Local Councils and of course the Alzheimer's Society but you have to find them they wont come knocking on your door, best of luck

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome Tony. What a lovely first post.

I identified with you right away when you say ;

she doesn't engaged in any conversation unless one to one

My husband was the same. When our son came to visit my husband would shut down because he was unable to join in our conversation too.

It does become a very lonely life and I hope talking Point will fill some of the gaps. There are a lot of people here who do know how it is.

 

[technotronic]

One thing I will never do is give up, as I am all my wife has n trusts in the world. Even at times when I feel down my being there for her n doing all for her is what gives me my strength n lifts me out of the gloominess I can feel at times.
She is my life n my true love n her needs do n will always come before mine, where others may feel to give up I never will n will see her through it all till the very end, making her life as carefree, easygoing n less frightening as I can.
Thank you for your support and your story


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