I am looking after a 65 year toddler/stroppy teenager - he shouted in a shop - "she won't let me have a book!" And he just stood and stared - everyone was looking at me? - I. Just say let's go home - hate shopping with him - never know what's going to happen - he is having a good day (at the moment) but who knows what's coming - he keeps saying he wants to see his mum , we are suffolk she is Portsmouth - they have not called much since he was diagnosed lost friends too - a neighbour crossed the road the other day and wouldn't make eye contact - feel more alone than when I lived alone. Neese
My "new" husband
- Thread starter NEESE201
- Start date
It's awful to hear this @NEESE201 and sadly it's all too common. Just when we need support more than ever, those we thought cared simply slowly slink away.
There came a time when I didn't`t take my husband out. He was just unable to cope. Your husband is young and I don't know if he would be safe to leave.
Are you in a position to get some help? If so it would give you some space.
Find support near you
Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Dementia support services
Alzheimer's Society provides help and hope to anyone affected by dementia. Call our support line, join our online community, find support in your local area or get dementia information.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
I'm hoping the support services will be more readily available now covid has became part of an accepted way of life.
It's awful to hear this @NEESE201 and sadly it's all too common. Just when we need support more than ever, those we thought cared simply slowly slink away.
There came a time when I didn't`t take my husband out. He was just unable to cope. Your husband is young and I don't know if he would be safe to leave.
Are you in a position to get some help? If so it would give you some space.
Find support near you
Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Dementia support services
Alzheimer's Society provides help and hope to anyone affected by dementia. Call our support line, join our online community, find support in your local area or get dementia information.
I'm hoping the support services will be more readily available now covid has became part of an accepted way of life.
I know exactly how you feel, I’m so tired today. Honestly the only way I cope is to not look back and never look forward. I concentrate on living in the present but today I’m so tired
I had to stop taking mum shopping she just couldn't cope with it anymore, I often gave her the trolley to push and she would whizz off up the aisles while I was chasing her with an armful of food.
The noise was another thing, screaming children were her bug bear and just the general noise of a supermarket, I used to dread it.
I now do online shopping when I cant get anyone in to sit with her, I do have friends who come in and sit with mum for a coffee and a cake i so am very lucky to be able to do this.
The noise was another thing, screaming children were her bug bear and just the general noise of a supermarket, I used to dread it.
I now do online shopping when I cant get anyone in to sit with her, I do have friends who come in and sit with mum for a coffee and a cake i so am very lucky to be able to do this.
Yes my husband can't do noise even raised voices ,he can be left for a couple of hours at the moment but not sure how long that will last - dread the future , his illness seems to get bad then settles down then dips again - cant seem to plan anything - neese
This forum comforts me in so many ways this is exactly what I do there is no us just him I’m barely keeping my head above water….
My toddler is 72 and was very mean to his carer today made her cry… I work full
Time if she leaves I will have go
Go part time…. He has lost some
Friends his children not really involved
Oh I relate to this,my OH has started going to neighbours and friends saying I won't let him have beer or cigs?I always make sure he has his supplies! He's been sleeping more lately in the day and I've noticed his friends(can't be real friends?)have stopped calling him to go for a pint.He's not aware of this but I am,his own brother has stopped getting in touch too which has made me so angry on top of everything else?I feel fortunate in some way even though my future has gone,he's really laid back and calm right now,hope it lasts even though my heart is broken by this evil illness.x
I feel just the same, the relentlessness of caring for the PWD. It is no life - and not just no knowing what the future holds and how bad it's going to get, terrifies me.
Reading your posts, I feel so lucky. My late husband was only obviously demented for around 2 years before he passed away. His death only came about because he had a serious fall at his rest home and mysteriously nobody knew how it happened. The shock brought on a heart attack 4 days later. Had it not been for the fall, he may well have continued on for years` deteriorating all that time. He's now at peace and I have a second chance at life.
Hello @Pusskins . My story almost mirrors yours. My husband was ill with dementia for 2 years although it had been obvious that something was going on for some time before the diagnosis.
We we’re told he had cancer last September and by the beginning of November he had passed away.
In spite of the grief I also am now enjoying my new chance of a life, in spite of a couple of debilitating conditions of my own.
I am happy and relieved that we have both been released from that ghastly illness and I have now regaIned my strength and making the most of every moment.
My best wishes to you.
Thank you, CAL.Y. My best wishes to you for the future also. I had done all of my grieving during my husband's final 12 months in a rest home. I had no intention of remarrying, but unexpectedly met a lovely man online late last year, and we were married in January. I found I didn't really enjoy being alone and felt that everything was pointless after the loss of my husband.
So not just my husband who forgets where he lives. My man frequently asks if this is our house, when do we have to move and/or what about rent. Despite having bought our house 16 years ago. He usually asks this several times a day, despite me reassuring him. I am perhaps not the nicest of people as I do get tired and jaded of all the repetition come the evening. And yes I know it’s not his fault!
It's so hard isn't it, today I wonder how I can keep on going. My husband is a 72 year old toddler, he thinks he can do things but he can't. He splashed tea all over the kitchen wall this morning and it was so extensive I had to paint it .... between working, walking the dog, doing the washing, cleaning the house, paying the bills ......!! I don't take him out anymore, he is a nightmare in the car, telling me how to drive, trying to close the windows when its 30 degrees outside and complaining about other drivers. He is in the kitchen all day long, we've had to move to a small flat to pay off his debts and I just can't escape him. My husband has no friends because he's always been critical and difficult, our children find him difficult and are not close by so it is a very lonely existence. I just pray that this will be over soon.
Yes my husband is in the middle of this nightmare - today hasn't been good - I have been on constant repeat and he keeps asking if he can help- I ask him to help and he walks off Comes back again. And again and asks again and again I feel like I am in some sort of mad home he stalks me I escape when he sleeps and then he is following me again - so tired and this is probably early days !
I have exactly the same problem and I do not know how long I will be able to do this. I have spoken to SS and my doctor and there is no help available, no break from this. I don't want to go with him to a dementia cafe, I want and need time out.
