My much loved wife

[Conway]

I am an 85 year old service veteran. My wife and I have been together for 66 years.
Regretfully, my wife has been diagnosed as having Alzheimer's
It developed so quickly. She lost all interest in everything she loved doing, reading, crosswords, cooking, everything.
Sometimes she would ask me if I was her Dad and yet other days everything was normal.
She began to speak regularly to a little girl that was'nt there, and asked me several times to "chase that stray dog out of the house" which was not there.
I am fortunate to have a daughter that lives close enough to stay over for one or two nights to help me.
However, when Christine stays my wife thinks the house belongs to my daughter and she might not like us staying and we should get ready to go home.
I am struggling to come to terms with the situation, but following good advise, I show her much love and affection and show no anger or frustration. The girl I married and had a wonderful life with has gone, but she now more than ever needs my full support and understanding, and as long as I can I will be there for her.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Conway
a warm welcome to TP
your love for your wife shines through your post
it's good that you both have support from your daughter
and now you've joined us, members will offer lots of support and helpful suggestions too

I hope you have had an assessment of your wife's care needs from your Local Authority Adult Services, and a carer's assessment for yourself, as you are both entitled to these
and look into applying for Attendance Allowance as it helps with finances
https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance/how-to-claim

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Conway and welcome from me too.

The hallucinations that your wife is experiencing sound very similar to those suffered by my wife. When my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's she was prescribed both Donepezil and Memantine, which helped quite a bit. Not only did the meds reduce the hallucinations, but they also made my wife a good bit brighter for a while as they maximise the brains ability to use its undamaged sections. These meds don't work for everyone but it may be worth talking to the medics to see if they will make them available and then you could give them a try.

I wonder if you may find any local support services like a memory café to be of some use. You can do a post code check to see what's available to you by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

The full list of the very informative Factsheets can be found with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

If communicating becomes an issue, a few handy tips can be picked from the useful thread that can be reached with this link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

I wish you and your wife the best of luck.