My 90 year old father wants to be a Deputy for my Mum - advice needed

[Fielder]

Hi,

I would greatly appreciate any information and thoughts on my parents’ situation, which is as follows:

My Dad’s 90 years old and my Mum’s 85. My Mum’s got dementia and my Dad is my Mum’s carer. My Dad’s fairly active and still drives a car, but he does have health problems of his own, e.g. rheumatoid arthritis…and he’s rather deaf and won’t wear his hearing aid, so communicating with him is difficult, especially over the phone.

My Mum didn’t do a power of attorney while she was still legally capable of doing so and now my Dad is considering going to the Court of Protection to become her Deputy and wants me to be a Deputy with him. I’m disabled and don’t live near them and travelling is difficult and very painful for me (they are in Essex and I’m in Berkshire) – So, I am not sure that I am physically up to being a Deputy, but mentally I’m fine and I can write letters and make phone calls on their behalf.

· If my Dad and/or I don’t apply for Deputyship and my Mum needs to go into a home because my Dad can’t cope with looking after her any more, if we contacted social services at that point, would there be an obligation on them to take out a Deputyship? (My Mum is co-owner with my Dad of their house and she has money in the bank in just her name and so would have to pay – at least to begin with - for her care home fees and, of course, at the moment my Dad doesn’t have access to her money.)

If my Dad and/or I applied for Deputyship…

· Would we be likely to be turned down because the Court of Protection might consider the responsibility of Deputyship too onerous for my Dad to cope with at his great age and with regard to his own health conditions and because I am not physically up to accompanying my Mum to hospital appointments, going to her bank etc?

· Would the Court of Protection be likely to turn my Dad and me down because my Mum didn’t opt for us to be her attorneys when she was legally capable of making such decisions and from that assume that she didn’t/wouldn’t want us to act on her behalf?

· If the Court of Protection were to turn us down as Deputies - with us having had to prove to them (as part of the application) that she is incapable of looking after herself - would they Court be likely to take over and appoint a Deputy from their court staff…or perhaps ask the Local Authority to act as Deputy on my Mum’s behalf?

· Does applying for Deputyship or being a Deputy entail actually ever attending the Court of Protection in London at all? (This would be difficult for me because of my disabilities and exhausting for my 90 year old Dad.)

Thank you in advance for any advice anyone can give me about this.

 

[nita]

I'm afraid I can't answer all your questions but a couple of thoughts come to mind. I did not have PoA for my mother and applied successfully to become her deputy. They don't take into account that you left it too late to apply to be an attorney - that's why people apply for deputyship.

Also, they don't go into the question of the health of any prospective deputy. I think it would be down to you to decide whether you are fit enough to take on the duties. If you have all the paperwork for the application or have checked online, it will explain these. However, I would think they would possibly question a deputy being older than the person without capacity but it might be acceptable as he is next of kin.

I didn't have to attend a court hearing when I made my application which I think is the usual case. Court hearings are usually for more complicated matters and when perhaps there is contention over deputyship by a number of parties.

I'm afraid I can't answer your query about the court appointing someone else as deputy. I wouldn't have thought you would be turned down (as I said, your health is not of interest to them unless you mention it specifically). As you say, your role could be to manage your mother's affairs remotely so you would need to apply to act jointly and severally. There is the question of what would happen if your father were to become incapable of carrying out his role, in which case, it would fall to you alone. It may be necessary to think about whether another relative or trusted friend could take on the role.

Maybe you could get some advice by phoning the COP's enquiry line on 0300 456 4600.

 

[Fielder]

I'm afraid I can't answer all your questions but a couple of thoughts come to mind. I did not have PoA for my mother and applied successfully to become her deputy. They don't take into account that you left it too late to apply to be an attorney - that's why people apply for deputyship.

Also, they don't go into the question of the health of any prospective deputy. I think it would be down to you to decide whether you are fit enough to take on the duties. If you have all the paperwork for the application or have checked online, it will explain these. However, I would think they would possibly question a deputy being older than the person without capacity but it might be acceptable as he is next of kin.

I didn't have to attend a court hearing when I made my application which I think is the usual case. Court hearings are usually for more complicated matters and when perhaps there is contention over deputyship by a number of parties.

I'm afraid I can't answer your query about the court appointing someone else as deputy. I wouldn't have thought you would be turned down (as I said, your health is not of interest to them unless you mention it specifically). As you say, your role could be to manage your mother's affairs remotely so you would need to apply to act jointly and severally. There is the question of what would happen if your father were to become incapable of carrying out his role, in which case, it would fall to you alone. It may be necessary to think about whether another relative or trusted friend could take on the role.

Maybe you could get some advice by phoning the COP's enquiry line on 0300 456 4600.

Thank you so much for your reply, Nita.

All you have said is very helpful to me. Having read what you've advised, my husband is now considering whether or not he would be willing to be a Deputy with me and my Dad - as long as my Dad will agree to him being a Deputy joint and severally. My husband can travel ok and could drive over to my parents' house every now and again as necessary. However, I've asked him to take a bit of time to consider this carefully, as he is a joint and several attorney with his brother for their elderly parents; they haven't had to use those powers as yet, but I think it's only a matter time and I don't want him to feel over burdened....But if I do all of the paperwork, make phone calls etc., it could be manageable and my husband could always withdraw from being a Deputy if it gets too much. (Unfortunately, all of my parents' friends are dead or not up to the task as they are elderly and infirm themselves, so there's no one else who could act on their behalf.)

Many thanks, once again for your advice - I really appreciate it. You've given us food for thought.

 

[nita]

Pleased I could be of some help and I think it is wise to get your husband to act as an additional deputy. The COP helpline is very good if you have any further questions or ask on here as someone may know.

 

[Fielder]

Pleased I could be of some help and I think it is wise to get your husband to act as an additional deputy. The COP helpline is very good if you have any further questions or ask on here as someone may know.

Thanks, Nita. I shall give the COP helpline a ring today; it's good to know that they are helpful.