mums getting lost

[pumpkin pie]

Hiya!!!!

This is my first post so be kind lol.

my mum is 62 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in august last year. she has always been a very independent person and just always got on with things.

however in the last 4 weeks or so she has been walking into town on her own but when it comes to getting home she has been getting very lost and confused with her surroundings, she has had to ask people how to get home and they have had to walk her there and on several occasions she has even flagged down drivers and asked for help!!!

i have called social services for advice and had no luck and they diddnt seem to interested with my problem so i thought i would turn to you guys!!

any advice would be very much appreciated as i dont know what to do!!!!!!!!

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @pumpkin pie, welcome to TP. You don't have to ask folk to be kind here as you will find the forum a friendly and informative place.
Other forum members with experience of this problem will be along to advise. However, I must say that I find the reply you got from SS strange. They need to be told that your mum has been diagnosed and that she is a vulnerable person to whom they owe a duty of care. I know that tracking devices etc., are available so something along that line may help. I also know that personal details can be lodged with some police forces and that would enable assistance if they were to get involved. You could try your Local Authority Adult Services for help.
As this is a recent problem are you sure that your mum's condition hasn't been made worse by an infection of some sort? Infections can cause havoc with people with dementia so they need to be treated to enable a return to some sort of normality.
I can't help any more but I'm sure people with experience will see your post and reply.

 

[Tin]

If it is down to the Dementia - wandering and getting lost comes to most sufferers, sometimes it is just a phase and can pass, but other times it goes on for years, like my mum! It would be a good idea to put a note in her coat or bag, not full name and address, just her first name and your telephone number and or a request to take her to a police station.

Ideally a way should be found to discourage this, but difficult if your mother lives alone and of course this is Dementia! so maybe looking into a day care activities centre would help. For how ever many days she goes to one of these, at least you'll know she is safe and cuts down the times she may wander in to town.

 

[Beate]

If she is wandering and getting lost she is placing herself at considerable risk. You need to go back to SS and tell them they have "duty of care for a vulnerable person at risk". Tell them you'll make them personally responsible if anything happens to her. They could put a Day Centre in place for example, where she would be safe and looked after, plus get lunch and social interaction. They could also put telecare gadgets into place like door sensors or trackers so she can be found easily if she absconds. So don't let them fob you off!

 

[Amy in the US]

Pumpkin pie, hello and welcome to TP. I am sorry to hear about your mother, and that you have needed to find your way here. TP is an amazing resource and for me, it's been a lifeline.

Wow, that is very concerning about your mum wandering and asking strangers for help. You must be frantic with worry.

There is good advice above.

If this is a new behaviour, then I would definitely get her medically checked out. Something as simple as an infection (especially a UTI) or a cold can cause behaviour changes in a person with dementa. It's often an early symptom, or the only symptom, that they are unwell. It also doesn't hurt to keep the GP up to date about how she is doing.

I would also speak to the local police station and tell them your mother has dementia and sometimes gets lost. You can give them a recent photo and a description and all your contact information. I think there may be a scheme called the "Herbert Protocol" you can reference. All the reports I've seen here on TP about discussions with the local police in these situations, have been good.

The note with info (I was just reading that one member attached her contact info to her relative's keychain) is a good idea as well.

You can also get GPS trackers, some people put these in the lining of the person's coat or handbag so they're not obvious. I think some people have had these supplied.

So far she hasn't gotten lost or hurt or taken advantage of. I am afraid that my mother opened the door to strangers, and talked to the scammers on the phone, and lost a fair bit of money in the process. She also ended up in hospital after she went wandering and got lost and injured; I was lucky she got helped by a Good Samaritan that day instead of someone not so helpful, and that she didn't die of exposure (cold weather, no coat, you get the picture, it was a miracle she escaped hypothermia that day). All these years later, I still have guilt and regret that I should have helped her sooner, even though she was resistant.

If your mother has "flagged down drivers" she is at risk of serious harm or worse.

I think it is likely time, or past time, to put some extra help and support in place. Carers coming in, sitters/befrienders, day care, lunch clubs, singing for the brain, there are options.

You cannot let social services "not be too interested." Use some of the magic phrases: duty of care, vulnerable adult at risk, safeguarding. Call Social Services/the LA every day, twice a day if you have to, until your mother gets the care she needs.

Also: do you have PoA in place for finances and/or health & welfare? If not, you want to get PoA while she still has capacity to sign.

Hope we haven't overwhelmed you, and best wishes to you and your mother.

 

[Georgina63]

Hi @pumpkin pie, sorry to hear about your Mum. At the risk of repeating previous advice, here are so,e of the things I did for my Mum and Dad. Approaching your local police station to fill out Herbert Protocol forms would be a good idea - hopefully never needed, but in advance they would contain all the info that would be needed should that ever happen. I would also insist on a reassessment with SS/memory clinic. If your Mum visits the same places, I would pop in with her details and explain the situation (I did similar for my folks when they used to venture into town as they would visit the same shops). Talk to neighbours about the situation too if you haven't already. I also printed details on small cards with my details and put them in Mum's pockets should she wander and get lost. Hope that helps. I know it's such a worry. Best Wishes, Georgina X