Hi all mum has mixed dementia for 5 years , she has slowly gone worse , more aggressive to me n last week lost her little dog , he kept her going n she loved him dearly but over the past year she has over fed him n fed him food that isn’t good for dogs n god love her killed him with kindness , she couldn’t remember how many times she had fed him n with all my help with writing it on white boards n on notes all around the house n ringing her n explaining things to her the little man had to be put to sleep.The thing is it’s only been a week n mum wants another dog but I no will be good in one way but she will over feed again n i cannot let that happen again , I’m hoping she will slowly forget about another dog , my brother wants to get her another dog but it’s not him who is seeing o everything n having to deal with the phone calls , can be 20 to 50 times a day , it’s so stressful n even if a don’t answer she leaves voicemails n gets very nasty with me , any suggestions would be grateful Thankyou Harwk
Mums dog past
- Thread starter Hawrk
- Start date
Welcome and I am sure you will gets lots of helpful advice on this site.
If your mother couldn’t look after the dog she adored, why would anyone think of getting her another? And while your mum might enjoy another doggy friend, it is really in a dog’s best interests to be care for properly.
I think there are toy dogs that move and are soft and fluffy that some people with dementia enjoy having and I hope someone will be able to tell you more. I am sorry about the dog. They do bring a lot of love and companionship.
If your mother couldn’t look after the dog she adored, why would anyone think of getting her another? And while your mum might enjoy another doggy friend, it is really in a dog’s best interests to be care for properly.
I think there are toy dogs that move and are soft and fluffy that some people with dementia enjoy having and I hope someone will be able to tell you more. I am sorry about the dog. They do bring a lot of love and companionship.
Welcome from me too @Hawrk.
I was thinking along the lines of a toy dog as well. You can find them on the internet - this is just one example-
shop.alzheimers.org.uk
I was thinking along the lines of a toy dog as well. You can find them on the internet - this is just one example-
Precious Petzzz - Pug
Precious Petzzz – Pug can provide loving comfort, a sense of security and is a therapeutic tool for nurturing and play for people living with dementia.
shop.alzheimers.org.uk
My Mum was just the same with her dog - overfed, fed the wrong things... Although she had always had a dog, loved it and felt safe with it in the house, it just wasn't fair on the dog, so the dog came to live with me, I'd bring the dog over to visit. Mum hated this and was often angry, but we worked hard to deflect her attention. 'The dog's got a sore tummy and will need out in the night, so I'll keep her this evening... she'll be back with you tomorrow'.... 'I'm just taking the dog for a walk, we'll be back soon'...
I'd suggest that if your mum wants another dog, you should agree with her, tell her you're looking for a suitable one, and make sure that you keep searching without finding one. Tell her about the ones you've heard about/seen, and the problem there is with each one - it bites/ it's fur's the wrong colour / someone else got there before us...
In the meantime, get a cuddly toy dog. I didn't think my mum would fall for this - she was never really a cute toy person. But she loves Wee Dog, and we both talk to him fuss him.
I'd suggest that if your mum wants another dog, you should agree with her, tell her you're looking for a suitable one, and make sure that you keep searching without finding one. Tell her about the ones you've heard about/seen, and the problem there is with each one - it bites/ it's fur's the wrong colour / someone else got there before us...
In the meantime, get a cuddly toy dog. I didn't think my mum would fall for this - she was never really a cute toy person. But she loves Wee Dog, and we both talk to him fuss him.
Wee dog was quite cheap - doesn't bark or wag - but much loved all the same.
We once got to pet an animatronic seal(?!!), designed for people with dementia, at an exhibition about robots at the Dundee V&A. It was very realistically alive (if not very seal-like). You couldn't help talking to it.
We once got to pet an animatronic seal(?!!), designed for people with dementia, at an exhibition about robots at the Dundee V&A. It was very realistically alive (if not very seal-like). You couldn't help talking to it.
You may find that shortly she won't realise the dog is deceased, she'll think its lost and go looking for it, It may be difficult to persuade her otherwise, even if you put a note on the door, but if she ventures out looking for it she could endanger herself. The loss of the company of the dog may even hasten her decline.
Yes, we also had that - mum became fixated on finding the dog that we'd had when I was a child 40 years ago. Fortunately I only lived next door, so she came to see what I'd done with Ben and demand her back. Rational explanations didn't work, and it could take time to defuse the situation ('being looked after at the vet' was a useful phrase) and get Mum home again, and off to bed (it was always an evening thing - she was always worse about everything from about 3.00 onwards). It was quite upsetting for all involved.
I think that by the time this was happening, though, it was more of an additional indication that mum really needed the security of a care home, rather than a cause of her deteriorating.
I think that by the time this was happening, though, it was more of an additional indication that mum really needed the security of a care home, rather than a cause of her deteriorating.
Thankyou to all who have responded to whether I get mum another dog , at this point I just keep saying let’s see after Christmas n she is understanding big that at the minute but I think this will change but I don’t want her to get another n really she cannot with out me , as long as no one else gets her one , ie my brother , but at min he is agreeing with me until she starts ringing him multiple times in a day like she does me , I get at least 20 to 30 phone calls n I bet he won’t want that but it’s how I live 365 days a year I’m the main care giver n I don’t even have a holiday , my choice but he doesn’t do much but that’s another story , again Thankyou to all n it helps seeing what other people think n are going through .
