more people more confusion

[gem2014]

Hi,does anyone else notice if the loved ones become more confused when they have spent time with other people?
My mum goes to 2 groups through the week and after some persuasion that this is good for her, she has now settled in well at both groups. She comes home tired and usually a little more confused than normally but I now know what to expect and it calms down by the following day.
However Mum has had a couple of really good weeks where she has been happy and jolly and just much more her old self [memory still shot though]. My sister then came up to see mum and took her shopping with her husband daughter and my daughter. I had a strange feeling this would set her off into total confusion when she returned home. And I was right. It's been a week since my sister was here and she is still confused about lots of things.
Anyone else noticed this too?

 

[nitram]

I noticed that at one stage that, if exposed to complex conversations between multiple people with rapidly changing topics, my wife could become very confused and that the confusion could remain for some time after the event.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

This is interesting. My husband perks up when he's been in a smallish group with conversations he can follow, but when he's been in a large group of people, with comings and goings, he is confused, and it does last for a couple of days at least.

 

[nitram]

In my wife's case if I was present I learnt to detect the puzzled look on her face and tried to move her to a 'less busy' place.

 

[Ovacomer]

My mum was exactly the same - one Christmas we took her away with the family when her dementia wasn't too bad but the fall out when we returned resulted in me having to take a week off work. The CH she is now in have suggested that she doesn't go to very busy meetings anymore as she is so distressed and disorientated when she returns. Its really hard because she loves it when shes with lots of people - its afterwards. It seems that it reminds her of her former life when she was very active and sociable.
All the best

 

[Tin]

Its the same with my mum, on busy days out, or when we have visitors that perhaps stay longer than they should, especially when its more than 3 people, she is Hyper active within the company and then becomes very confused and anxious for a day or two. Its sad really because this is now another area where I have to decide whether or not it is good for her, always trying to find the right balance.

 

[Linbrusco]

I have found with Mum anything majorly different to her usual routine or surroundings causes confusion.
Mum desperately wants to go away somehqere on a holiday. Just a few months back my sister and I took Mum into our city for a night. We took her in a bus around the city as she hadn't been there for years. She couldn't remember old landmarks she had seen for the past 40 odd years.
She woke during the night totally disorientated, asking where she was and how she got there. She remembered nothing from the day before, where we went for dinner and even taking her to the casino, and generally seemed quite out of sorts.
So this makes us think twice taking her anywhere different.

When her sisters visit I ask for them to come one or two at a time, but no last time all three arrived including Mums neices and great neices. Mum cannot handle more than one on one conversation.
Mum kept asking me where everyone was going to sleep.

 

[gem2014]

Thank you to all your comments. It's really useful to know that I need to be saying to the family, come in ones or twos but no more. I think the problem is that in our world we feel we should be taking her places and involving her in family gatherings, to make us feel better. But really all mum wants is to do the same thing week in and out and this is how it's going to have to be.

 

[Sammyjo1]

It's been really useful for me to read people's comments. We generally have a family gathering of OH's family once a year scheduled around the visit of his brother and family who live in Thailand. This involves about 11 children and 10 adults.

I've said that I don't think it is a good idea for us to go next time brother is over from Thailand and that we will see people individually instead.

So glad it looks as if I've done the right thing.

Thanks everyone