Long time since i posted


Registered User
Jul 21, 2023
Well so much has happened since Christmas eve. My brother had a call from mums care home to say that we would have to move her, as they can't cope with her now advanced AD. We found a new home at the beginning if the month and she moved in on the 8th February. This home is a dementia specialist home, and we told them that if they took her, it would be for the rest of her life as we didn't want to move her and upset her again.

Yesterday my brother had a call to say mum had fallen over, but no injuries. Doctor looked her over and all was OK. It seems she tried to get in her wheelchair, although she knows not to unaided, and the brakes weren't on. If you ever said no to mum she would always do the opposite because she knows better than anyone else. Now we've had a call to say she has fallen out of bed, by climbing round the rails. She has broken her hip, waiting for an ambulance.

Does anyone have any guidance as to how they will deal with this? She has advanced AD, will they operate. When my brother visited her last week he said she was coughing up green phlegm and was in bed and didn't get up when he arrived. She also said she was cold so he put another cover over her, and she was more concerned about her teddy getting cold as well, so he had to put a blanket on that as well.

She has never been a cuddly toy person so is this also a symptom of her declining health?

I feel completely out of my depth now and to be quite honest quite scared.


Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
Oh @rosiedog1

so sorry to read your post 😢😢😢 the surgeons and anaesthetist will liaise as to how frail ur mum is as to whether to operate or not. They do like to if possible as the pain from a broken hip is high. I’m sure they will be in touch with your brother to discuss.

One family in mum’s home decided not for operation on their father’s broken hip. He stayed at the home and died a week later. It took a good few days to get his pain under control and that was difficult for everyone. He did die at home however with those he loved around him.

im so sorry ur going through this xx


Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
Does anyone have any guidance as to how they will deal with this?

I feel completely out of my depth now and to be quite honest quite scared.

This seems to be a quite common outcome of dementia, where folks don’t remember that they have limitations and injure themselves. Sometimes they can be very resourceful in circumventing measures in place to protect them.

What happens next can’t really be predicted. Your Mum may sail through whatever is done for her hip - which could be anything from an operation (if she’s deemed fit enough for the anaesthetic, procedure and recovery), or having her in hospital until the hip starts to heal of its own accord (if she’s too frail for any other treatment). She might regain her mobility, or for a range of reasons, she may not. Some of these can be quite lateral. Some folks with dementia struggle with physio - my Granny was deeply resentful of “another person trying to order me around!” when we were trying to get her mobile after a hospital stay, and flatly refused to cooperate in any way.

So as far as her future goes, it’s up in the air just for the moment. All you can do is just be confident that your Mum is in the right place for her needs. If she’s discharged to the care home, as a specialist dementia home, this won’t be the first time that they’ve encountered the issue.

From a practical point of view, while she’s in hospital I’d keep an eye on your Mum’s nutrition and hydration as best you can. There won’t be enough nurses to make sure she’s eating, so if she becomes very confused, meals might be put down in front of her then taken away uneaten. You may need to go in at mealtimes to help her eat, or even take her in more familiar cold drinks, snacks or meals.

All the best to you. We can only ever do our best. Sometimes circumstances are just in the lap of the gods and out of our control.


Registered User
Jun 18, 2022
I think you should prepare yourselves. The pain of a broken hip means it often has to be addressed surgically
It is not uncommon to survive the op but succumb to complications later down the line.