Light and Dark times

[Daughters concerns]

Hi all me again!!!

Much has progressed since my last note!

Mum is now receiving a weekly medipack as she doesn't take her medication.
It's going better because she's taking meds, but I have noticed she doesn't take her evening meds at all. She says she doesn't like them!
Today, I found she's already taken tomorrow's meds! I spoke to the pharmacist for advice. They gave me tomorrow's meds to personally give mum.

Social services have stepped in and from Monday will be going in each evening to administer the evening meds. I have emailed today's findings about the extra day taken. I guess they might go in during the morning too.

Mum doesn't think she needs any support still and although initially accepting this support now doesn't understand.

Today I bumped into mum in town at the cash point. She couldn't seem to get money out. She had tried with her bank card and a transport card without success.
I'll take her to the bank on Monday to see what is what! I have already taken away her credit card as she didn't know what it was!

Is there anything I'm missing that I should also be doing?

So, I do see light as the social services help is starting but dark too as there's just another thing to navigate.

Thank you xx

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @Daughters concerns It is good that social services are ensuring that your mum will be taking her evening meditation. I do think also that it would be good for them to monitor the morning meds as well so hopefully they will follow through on your email.
Another good thing about the carer visits is that it will get your mum used to people coming into the house, which will help if she needs more care down the line.
Hopefully you will get the bank issue sorted easily. Take care of yourself.

 

[sheepfield]

Hello! I'm afraid that I've not much advice, just sympathy. I discovered old medication in the freezer today at my mother in law's home. She's only just consented to help from social care.
I'm considering how to approach the conversation about Lasting Power of Attorney whilst my mother in law still hopefully has capacity.
My mother in law cannot remember her PIN that she's had for years and I think that accessing money is making her worried. She's stopped eating meals though is still eating biscuits and cakes, maybe she thinks that she can't afford much food.
It's all more stuff to sort out but like you we have the light of social care getting involved.

 

[Daughters concerns]

Hello! I'm afraid that I've not much advice, just sympathy. I discovered old medication in the freezer today at my mother in law's home. She's only just consented to help from social care.
I'm considering how to approach the conversation about Lasting Power of Attorney whilst my mother in law still hopefully has capacity.
My mother in law cannot remember her PIN that she's had for years and I think that accessing money is making her worried. She's stopped eating meals though is still eating biscuits and cakes, maybe she thinks that she can't afford much food.
It's all more stuff to sort out but like you we have the light of social care getting involved.

Sounds like you're doing a job👍
It isn't easy and everyday is a learning curve but we'll all get there together 😊

I'm having a weekend away with my husband and son at the moment. Mum rang me up yesterday to tell me my garden gates was open and was it ok to close it! She then contacted my in laws worrying the neighbours thought she was trespassing 🤣 she also told them that we had a friend round for tea the other night along with her. That friend was my dad her ex husband!!

Mum has no idea she is forgetful. She doesn't like the POA we have or social services helping her. But it's making life easier for me. Maybe with your POA talk about it in general terms that it's a good thing to have just in case it's needed in the future, or even that you're both doing one for yourselves as well.

Keep up the good work you're doing fab 👍😊

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @Daughters concerns , I guess your mum put the wrong PIN in too many times. My mum ended up putting her PIN number in her diary, not a very safe thing to do, but as the diary had loads of random stuff in it I'm not sure a thief would have worked it out. After a while that didn't work either, and mum used to just go in the bank. Fortunately they all knew her and would let her have money out even without her card.
Your mother sounds like mine in the last few months before she moved into care. Things were sort of OK until suddenly they weren't. It's good you've got extra help coming in from tomorrow, and as @SeaSwallow says it will get her used to having help in when she does start to need more care. My mum never accepted the idea of carer, hence moving to a care home maybe a bit earlier than most people do.

 

[Daughters concerns]

Hi there
Thanks for your comments, they really help.
Dementia is so very random to me, one day or one minute mum's fine and the next she seems so very different.

I still don't know about the bank pin number, neither did the bank when we went in together, other than perhaps the time delay between putting her card into the machine and then putting the numbers in. She too keeps the number in her diary but doesn't realise until after the card was in the machine, so it's likely to be this.
Thankfully the bank know her and also me so they're really very helpful.

Carers are now going in each morning and evening to help with medication. Mum doesn't see the need for them at all but it certainly helps me knowing they're supporting her.

Recently she forgot who my dad was. Mum and dad were both at mine for dinner and she told me in-laws afterwards that we had a friend over as well! She also now calls a new friend she's made the same name as my dad but doesn't see the connection in name.

If you met her however, you probably wouldn't notice anything. Hence my saying it's so random.

Thank you for the support and you're doing a fantastic job with your mum 😊 xx