New to here and hello everyone. My name is Isabel and my father has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's/demntia about 7 years ago. After a fall and case of neglect at the hospital (he lost about 20 pounds over 2 weeks there), my dad's has dramatically worsened as he temper has worsen as well as his sense of reasoning. I still love him as he basically took care of me and all, but it has been very shockening his sudden decline. The reasoning to my post is how to improve his lifestyle as he has been getting his personal belongs and stuff in a mess or disarray. I have tried ways to add new stuff for organization and practiced with him on how to use then but at the end it returns to what it is. For example, I will find used underwear and diapers in the tub, clean socks in bags inside his drawers, and even his clean/used clothes bunched up in the floor. I try cleaning it myself to reoganize but 3/5, he fights me on it saying it's his space. This sort of behavior was never there since the fall 6 months ago, so for me it's scary really. I really need advice like should I add large containers, give space and leave it alone, or what...help or something, really at a lost.
Lifestyle and how to improve for my dad's sake
- Thread starter isabelneedssomehelp
- Start date
Oh dear @isabelneedssomehelp - I remember this stage, it is typical of midstage dementia. They try and "sort things out", but everthing is put in the wrong place, gets in a muddle and they dont even realise that it is. Trying to reason with your dad and persuade him to do things is not going to work because his cognitive ability has declined so much that he cannot remember what to do, or even see what the problem is.
You might find that getting transparent boxes, so that he can see what is inside, might help, but even so - I think that you (or someone else) will need to go in regularly to sort it all out. Dont lecture him, though - it will just make him angry and less willing to allow you to do it. Is there some way of distracting him while you do it? For example, could someone take him out for lunch while you blitz the place?
You might find that getting transparent boxes, so that he can see what is inside, might help, but even so - I think that you (or someone else) will need to go in regularly to sort it all out. Dont lecture him, though - it will just make him angry and less willing to allow you to do it. Is there some way of distracting him while you do it? For example, could someone take him out for lunch while you blitz the place?
Hello @isabelneedssomehelp
Let him have his space for as long as he needs it and see if you can do a little sorting without him knowing. Not a blitz, just in small areas.
Probably within the next six months, your father will have reached a different stage and may be able to accept help.
Hi @isabelneedssomehelp . When my dad got to this stage I used to go every morning and make him some breakfast or a cup of tea and do a quick blitz while he was distracted - not everything just the most important hygiene issues.
Eventually he had carers who used to do the same
Eventually he had carers who used to do the same
Thanks everyone for giving me the 'talk' I needed, and yes, i do live with as he's only got me as my mom doesnt really help out personally unless pushed and rather just give money. I could get help for him but considering how he is, that wouldnt work for anyone. As to what I'll do, I will get him out and hire help/cleaning service to organize his stuff (with my mom being there alone), though it will likely get him upset by others touching his stuff.
P.S. on a personal note, really love this site's sense of honesty to difficult subjects like this. As this is really the only site, that I see such questions.
P.S. on a personal note, really love this site's sense of honesty to difficult subjects like this. As this is really the only site, that I see such questions.
