My father is 86 years old and has Alzeimher’s. He is physically fit as a fiddle. My mum passed away in 2019. My husband and my kids (9 and 12) lived a 10 minute walk away. Over the Lockdown, my dad deteriorated and had panic attacks from the isolation. He became paranoid. He asked us to move in as he could not cope with the isolation. He would not move into our house and he has a much bigger house. As a temporary measure we moved in. It was very difficult for a year as the paranoia worsened. My husband was the brunt of this. They had previously enjoyed an amicable relationship. 3 years later we are still here. My dad’s emotional health is much better and we have started to do a bit of decorating to make the house feel like home and done the garden up as my dad likes to be outside.
Financially, we never formalised any agreement and have lived here rent and bill free. We pay for my dad’s food, bits and pieces that need doing in the house ( there has been a lot to do as house had not been maintained for a few years), pay for a cleaner.
We rent out our own house.
Early on, we had offered to pay the bills but my dad had been adamant that he didn’t want that as he didn’t want the tax man to get the money. We have asked him many times over the years but he has always said no.
I have POA and in no way use the money for myself. The money has only ever been used for my dad and the house and garden. We have kept all receipts.
My query relate to whether we have rights as carers or whether we are legally obligated to pay rent?
I have two brothers. One lives about twenty minutes away and want no caring duties and doesn’t really visit my dad at all. May be 4-5 times in a year for 10 minutes. The brother in Dublin has looked after my dad for a few weeks so that we can go away as a family.
The brother who lives close by has been using the fact that we do not pay bills and are profiting from the rental property as leverage to be verbally abusive. He has a terrible temper and can be very scary when he goes off. He wants free rein of the house when he likes. For instance he asked for his male work colleague from Southa Africa to move into the house. We said no as we didn’t want a stranger in the house as we have two daughters. He has been terrible to my husband who has taken on a larger proportion of caring duties.
My husband now wants to move back home as he has had enough. He feels like he has cared for my dad and spent hours on the falling down house with no gratitude.
I don’t really want to leave my dad. One solution is that we get my dad a live in carer. My dad has a habit of cooking potatoes and then forgetting so smoke alarm gets a lot of exercise. He forgets to eat, shower.
I just wondered whether a solicitor can help us understand what legal rights we have as carers.
Financially, we never formalised any agreement and have lived here rent and bill free. We pay for my dad’s food, bits and pieces that need doing in the house ( there has been a lot to do as house had not been maintained for a few years), pay for a cleaner.
We rent out our own house.
Early on, we had offered to pay the bills but my dad had been adamant that he didn’t want that as he didn’t want the tax man to get the money. We have asked him many times over the years but he has always said no.
I have POA and in no way use the money for myself. The money has only ever been used for my dad and the house and garden. We have kept all receipts.
My query relate to whether we have rights as carers or whether we are legally obligated to pay rent?
I have two brothers. One lives about twenty minutes away and want no caring duties and doesn’t really visit my dad at all. May be 4-5 times in a year for 10 minutes. The brother in Dublin has looked after my dad for a few weeks so that we can go away as a family.
The brother who lives close by has been using the fact that we do not pay bills and are profiting from the rental property as leverage to be verbally abusive. He has a terrible temper and can be very scary when he goes off. He wants free rein of the house when he likes. For instance he asked for his male work colleague from Southa Africa to move into the house. We said no as we didn’t want a stranger in the house as we have two daughters. He has been terrible to my husband who has taken on a larger proportion of caring duties.
My husband now wants to move back home as he has had enough. He feels like he has cared for my dad and spent hours on the falling down house with no gratitude.
I don’t really want to leave my dad. One solution is that we get my dad a live in carer. My dad has a habit of cooking potatoes and then forgetting so smoke alarm gets a lot of exercise. He forgets to eat, shower.
I just wondered whether a solicitor can help us understand what legal rights we have as carers.
