Is this how incontinence starts?

Fugs

Registered User
Feb 16, 2023
104
0
My wife had a pee accident this evening while we were watching the TV. I didn't make a big thing about, just tidied her up, and she didn't seem too upset, just commented about not getting to the toilet fast enough. Is this a one off? Or is this how incontinence starts? Is there good way to start suggesting such products as Tenna Lady?
From reading this forum I had already bought a waterproof bedsheet and Kylie pad. I made an excuse about it being time to change the bedsheets, and they are now in place just in case.
Advice from those with more experience would be welcome. (Although less than a year since formal diagnosis my wife is displaying most of the symptoms of middle stage.)
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,352
0
Salford
My wife said she was going to the toilet then went off and stood at the bottom of the stairs and wet herself, I asked why and she said "I don't know where the toilet "it's same place that it's been for the last 30 odd years possibly?
You have to learn to live in their world when they can't live in ours. K
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,568
0
N Ireland
In my experience a single incident doesn't mean incontinence. My wife had a couple of 'accidents' many years ago but is still OK.

However, @Kevinl makes a good point. My wife can sometimes take herself off to the toilet and at other times will just fidget like a toddler so has to be asked if she needs the toilet and has to be shown the way. At night I leave the toilet light on so that it's like a beacon in the dark. Any carer has to be alert.

Cleaning after using the toilet can be an issue - apparently that's a higher function so can be lost. Again, the carer has to be alert as skin problems can arise if cleaning isn't done.
 

maggie6445

Registered User
Dec 29, 2023
587
0
Mmm ...possibly. My OH had a daytime accident around Jan 23. I bought some Aldi pull ups and he wore them for a week with no further problem. I treated it as a one off.
There was another daytime accident in the summer ,again pull ups for a week but no more accidents.
Come November same again, a daytime accident. But in the week of pull ups he had two night time accidents and has continued having 2/3 a week since. Oddly, no daytime ones but I do encourage him to go to the toilet before we go out and 30 mins after meals.
He does get up in the night and ,sometimes already wet ,sometimes dry.
Maybe try pull up at night and remind during the day.
My OH was upset and was accepting of what he called ' safety pants'. I had him checked for UTI after first time but it wasn't that.

We have sensor lights in the bedroom ,landing and bathroom. OH never thinks to use a light switch 😊
OH diagnosed 2021 and now late mid stage
 
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sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,171
0
Surrey
It maybe The beginning if ur wife is mid stage, but you may find it comes on slowly …or suddenly it’s like a switch has tripped - everyone is so different.

I managed to hold it at bay for some time by toileting on a schedule. I took mum to the loo every few hours which worked very well for us. She was generally pretty compliant however. Otherwise she would have been wet much much earlier on.

The nights however - it was a sudden change. One week she woke up for the loo as usual - and suddenly that stopped and she was wet - pull ups and Kylies….
 

Fugs

Registered User
Feb 16, 2023
104
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Thank you all for your replies. My wife already exhibits the toilet paper issue commented on by others. I now have small painters buckets in both the upstairs and downstairs toilets, which reduces the numbers of scrunched toilet tissues stuffed into loo rolls. (Mostly from dabbing after a pee, but occasionally a poo. - Emptying a bucket is so much easier than pulling the toilet tissue out from where it has been stuffed. )
I wondered if the accident was part of a path. I now have my answer, which is it depends.
Thank you again.
 

Harky

Registered User
Oct 13, 2021
130
0
Thank you all for your replies. My wife already exhibits the toilet paper issue commented on by others. I now have small painters buckets in both the upstairs and downstairs toilets, which reduces the numbers of scrunched toilet tissues stuffed into loo rolls. (Mostly from dabbing after a pee, but occasionally a poo. - Emptying a bucket is so much easier than pulling the toilet tissue out from where it has been stuffed. )
I wondered if the accident was part of a path. I now have my answer, which is it depends.
Thank you again.
I use Fred and Flo children's wet wipes from Tesco. They have the added benefit of keeping her very clean between her legs. Toilet paper didn't have the same effect. I also use Kotex pads in her underwear all the time to help with her incontinence issues. Another thing I've done is alarm the toilet door as she had a tendency to go herself as in her world she doesn't have a problem but doesn't know what to do once she's in leading to a disaster.
The pads can be bought on Amazon in bulk.
 

maggie6445

Registered User
Dec 29, 2023
587
0
I use Fred and Flo children's wet wipes from Tesco. They have the added benefit of keeping her very clean between her legs. Toilet paper didn't have the same effect. I also use Kotex pads in her underwear all the time to help with her incontinence issues. Another thing I've done is alarm the toilet door as she had a tendency to go herself as in her world she doesn't have a problem but doesn't know what to do once she's in leading to a disaster.
The pads can be bought on Amazon in bulk.
Personally , I think once they are this stage they need monitoring. My OH nearly always asks if there's a toilet in this building! Once I've taken him he sometimes manages fine but other times he can forget to pull his underpants down . Thought he had started bowel incontinence but I think it was more memory related. I have to help with the clean up . He does an attempt then I use Senset foam,from Amazon, and toilet paper and it works well. I used Aldi pull ups at night but I now have NHS supplied Tena pull ups given by the incontinence team. They currently supply one pull up a night which is suffice at the moment