Introducing myself

[CupcakeTrace]

Hi all,
I am a 46 year old who is caring for my Dad who was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia earlier in the year and my mum who has a more generalised dementia it would appear. They live an hour or so away from me and I work more than full time as a Methodist Minister so being there for them is difficult.
We are at the point where they think they are fine but are in fact unable to care for each other properly. My Dad can be aggressive towards my Mum (symptom) and has become more sexual. He is an intelligent man but cannot tell you what day of the week it is. I am feeling a bit out of my depth to be honest and feeling like I get little or no support or advice for helping them. I am pleased to find this forum where I am hoping to find others in a similar boat. This disease is horrible to witness and there seems to be little around to help.
On a practical note how do I start a forum post? Can't find how to do that.
Looking forward to getting to know some of you. Tracey

 

[Shedrech]

Hi CupcakeTrace
welcome to this wonderful community of sympathetic and helpful folk

I can't help but smile - as you have successfully solved your practical 'problem' by starting this thread - so you are up and running

have your parents had an assessment of their care needs by their LA Adult Services? if not, there's the place to start
and please do let their GP and consultant know about your father's aggression and the increased libido - it may be that a tweak in his meds or new meds will help

best wishes to you all

 

[Kevinl]

On a practical note how do I start a forum post? Can't find how to do that.

Welcome to TP Trace
You start a topic or thread which is what you've done here, hence it says "Thread: Introducing myself " above your name on the first post.
A thread/topic is a specific question you start by going to the right area; legal & finance, young people, end of life. tearoom or wherever then click post new thread which is what you did to start this thread.
If you want to reply to someone else's thread/topic then go to the bottom of the page on that topic and hit the post a comment box then type in your reply to their thread, please don't use the "Reply and quote post" unless there's a good reason, that just duplicates their comments and puts yours at the bottom of the quote which is rarely necessary, but not never so use as appropriate.
Given the situation you describe I would suggest you go to the "Forum Home" page, then to the "Support from other members" bit then to "Forum: I care for a person with dementia" and start a topic in there, but if it's legal or financial then that would be the right area, or indeed wherever the topic belongs, if it's light hearted then the tearoom.
So a post is an answer, but a topic/thread is where you start to ask a specific question.
You mention aggression and libido, both have been covered extensively on here so the search function may take you to some previous and interesting discussions we've had.
Don't be too specific if when you start a thread is another bit of advise you don't need someone with the same; diagnosis, age, height or hair colour as you to answer a question about incontinence services, anyone will do, don't be exclusive unless it matters (which isn't all that often but is sometimes relevant).
That's the technical bit over.
We're all in a similar boat irrespective of age or religious status, it's a situation where we all try and help each other, issues matter not definitions, age. sex and the like.
But welcome to the site, please take all the help you can get from us, that's why we're all on here, because it works.
K

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Trace

I wish I`d had a `Kevin` when I first came on Talking Point. It took me ages to find my way round and learn the forum language.

Have you asked for support from Social Services [SS]? They should do an assessment of your parents` and your needs and be able to tell you what is available re help and support.

Caring for both parents and holding down a full time job is too much to ask of anyone but you do need to speak up and tell SS about your situation and the help you need. They are snowed under as you probably know and you will need to speak up to be heard

I`m glad you`ve found the forum and hope it reduces the isolation you feel.

 

[canary]

Hello Trace. I have a husband with FTD and a mother with Alzheimers and I have had to take early retirement in order to deal with it, although I understand that not everyone has this option. I must say that I never got mum to accept outside help and I discovered that if mum refused any help from SS, then they would just cross her off their books!
I would definitely contact their GP and let him/her know about the aggression and lack of inhibition before it goes further. What specific problems are they not coping with? Meals? Housework? Incontinence? If you feel able to say, then Im sure someone can give you advice on it.

 

[Toddleo]

Looking forward to getting to know some of you. Tracey

Just wanted to pop in and say Hi and welcome to TP
Toddleo