My mum is recieving end of life care. 71 yrs old, she has been living with this cruel disease for 14 years now. She has been bed ridden for 3 years, she can't walk, can't move any limbs, apart from the slightest movement in her arms, her eyes never open, her mouth opens slightly to fed her, she doesn't speak, doesn't know me or anyone. It truly is a sorrowful sight. I hate going to the nursing home, some days I can deal with it and some days I can't. Sometimes when I go she is lying with her mouth open, and for a second I think she has gone, free at last from this life sentence. I just want my mum at peace, I want to try and keep my memories of my mum as the laughing fun loving mum she was to my brother and I, all I seem to see now is this stranger lying in a bed. I just want it over for her. Sorry today is a bad day, I just miss her so much. How long must she and I have to wait for this nightmare to end..,..
I'm so tired of it all 😔
- Thread starter Globug
- Start date
Hello @Globug and I am so sorry to hear what you are having to go through. End of life care is just so painful for immediate family to see their loved one decline so. I hope your Mum is at least comfortable and pain free. That is what is important for her right now. End of ;life care, as you may know, can go on for some time - it's amazing how long the body can go on without food and much liquid. Or sometimes it is quick. I fully understand you want your Mum at peace and free from this awful disease ( I had the same with my Mum last year). All I would say, is just be with her when you can, tell her you love her, and at some stage she will no doubt slowly slip away. I hope when the time comes, it is a peaceful passing. Wishing you strength.
Hello @Globug
Death has become a taboo subject, it is not something that people talk about and when people die on TV or in films it is all over in a few minutes. When someone dies from dementia it is not like that. What happens is that the body closes down slowly over days, weeks, or even months and there are physical changes that happen along the way so it is harrowing for us to watch them, especially if you are not expecting it.
May I reassure you on a couple of points, though? Firstly, the home will ensure that she is not in pain (and it doesnt sound as though she is at the moment) so that when she does pass it will be peaceful. Secondly, although the image of your mum as she is now is taking up your mind, it will not be like this forever. My mum passed away several years ago now and although I have not forgotten those days, when I think of her, I think of her as she was before dementia, or just in the early days.
Hang on in there
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
Death has become a taboo subject, it is not something that people talk about and when people die on TV or in films it is all over in a few minutes. When someone dies from dementia it is not like that. What happens is that the body closes down slowly over days, weeks, or even months and there are physical changes that happen along the way so it is harrowing for us to watch them, especially if you are not expecting it.
May I reassure you on a couple of points, though? Firstly, the home will ensure that she is not in pain (and it doesnt sound as though she is at the moment) so that when she does pass it will be peaceful. Secondly, although the image of your mum as she is now is taking up your mind, it will not be like this forever. My mum passed away several years ago now and although I have not forgotten those days, when I think of her, I think of her as she was before dementia, or just in the early days.
Hang on in there
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
Hello @Globug.
I am so sorry that you are going through this too. I posted something very similar on this forum about my mum, a couple of days ago. This stage of dementia can be very slow, but it will end and you will still have your treasured memories which, I'm sure, will override everything that you are experiencing at the moment.
The only way I can cope with this situation is to completely detach myself from it for a while and do something different - a distraction for my own emotional well-being.
Best wishes xx
I am so sorry that you are going through this too. I posted something very similar on this forum about my mum, a couple of days ago. This stage of dementia can be very slow, but it will end and you will still have your treasured memories which, I'm sure, will override everything that you are experiencing at the moment.
The only way I can cope with this situation is to completely detach myself from it for a while and do something different - a distraction for my own emotional well-being.
Best wishes xx
Hello @Globug I've just read your post and can't even begin to imagine how hard it has been for that length of time. My mum has only suffered badly for the last 2 years and they have been the toughest of my life. I went to see her today and the nurse said the end of life medicine pack had been delivered just in case and I too sat and watched mum and prayed it would end. I hope tomorrow is a better day
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