my mum is now paranoid, refusing to take drugs... they’re talking about having to admit her to a hospital if she does this again, she was hiding a pill in her hand and offering it to other residents, which meant she was a danger to others.
what happens then? if she goes to hospital?
can they chuck her out if she’s this non compliant?
more and more i’ve been thinking how one day she would go insane and end up in an asylum, and it’s has happened, only it’s a really nice nursing home with really nice staff.... but that doesn’t make her happy, or compliant... if i were a young child i’d be protected from her, not expected to visit her regularly and have her upset me....
i am supposed to take her to a hotel for several days in christmas but she’s so bad now i dunno if it’ll be possible...
im starting to think that i need to cut ties. i’ve been unwell, i’m not coping with mums constant unhappiness and her constant difficulty she is providing to the staff.... because she is distressed most of the time her dementia seems to be advancing really rapidly.
shes in this difficult phase i guess... i know it’s scary for her, but nothing i say or do makes it better... she is a “bottomless pit of need”
she’s always been depressive always needs outsiders to make her feel better... can never stand to be alone... she can no longer consider my needs.... she was ok once the other week. but most of the time she’s highly distressed and impossible to talk to. i feel sorry for the staff and stressed for them.... but it’s making me ill. it’s running me down... my physical health is already low. i’m using everything i have to keep an even keel under this stress of my only family member going quickly crazy.
i no longer need help with how to communicate with her because it’s all as if she’s sundowning now. nothing i say makes it ok. and i can’t make her feel calm because what she is saying is distressing to me because she is highly distressed...
and her physical fitness is perfect so... we’re looking at another 8 years probably of this and then the silence and then... i dunno.
i dunno how you all do it. i’m asking your permission to cut ties. that to protect myself i need to be seeing her once a month not once a week.... no more phone calls... no more stressing about things i have no control over.
what happens then? if she goes to hospital?
can they chuck her out if she’s this non compliant?
more and more i’ve been thinking how one day she would go insane and end up in an asylum, and it’s has happened, only it’s a really nice nursing home with really nice staff.... but that doesn’t make her happy, or compliant... if i were a young child i’d be protected from her, not expected to visit her regularly and have her upset me....
i am supposed to take her to a hotel for several days in christmas but she’s so bad now i dunno if it’ll be possible...
im starting to think that i need to cut ties. i’ve been unwell, i’m not coping with mums constant unhappiness and her constant difficulty she is providing to the staff.... because she is distressed most of the time her dementia seems to be advancing really rapidly.
shes in this difficult phase i guess... i know it’s scary for her, but nothing i say or do makes it better... she is a “bottomless pit of need”
she’s always been depressive always needs outsiders to make her feel better... can never stand to be alone... she can no longer consider my needs.... she was ok once the other week. but most of the time she’s highly distressed and impossible to talk to. i feel sorry for the staff and stressed for them.... but it’s making me ill. it’s running me down... my physical health is already low. i’m using everything i have to keep an even keel under this stress of my only family member going quickly crazy.
i no longer need help with how to communicate with her because it’s all as if she’s sundowning now. nothing i say makes it ok. and i can’t make her feel calm because what she is saying is distressing to me because she is highly distressed...
and her physical fitness is perfect so... we’re looking at another 8 years probably of this and then the silence and then... i dunno.
i dunno how you all do it. i’m asking your permission to cut ties. that to protect myself i need to be seeing her once a month not once a week.... no more phone calls... no more stressing about things i have no control over.