Now I know its really true , he has dementia. He has been having hallucinations for some time and moving and hiding things. I have mild dyspraxia so its difficult to cope anyway . I have only a cleaner once a week for 2 hours . He wont pay his way, never has but does buy some food. I thought it was due to Aspergers which he had been diagnosed with years ago, but he wont admit it . He has a lovely daughter whom he doesnt acknowledge , says she isnt his daughter. So so difficult and now he refuses to get rid of his car though his doctor informed the DVLA that he should not drive. He is driving my car and hasnt taxed his car recently and refuses to sell it . He keeps getting threatening letters from the DVLA about the tax. I dont want him to get a SORN or it will be stuck in my driveway and we wont be able to get in my garage which if full of his junk which he wont move . ETC ETC Its such a nightmare . I am trying to get LPA but its very difficult , I am sure he wont sign anything. I own this house but its like he calls all the tunes. PHEW what a moan ! Is there a magic wand or white witch out there ? Thanks if anyone can advise anything !
I need help but how ?My partner was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers . I had been thinking he was not right for a long time .
- Thread starter tamsibear
- Start date
Can you pay someone to remove the items in the
garage out, or arrange for a charity to take them if the items are still in good condition? I don't know if getting an lpa is needed as you say you own the house and cover the bills etc if anything I think you could ask social services what you're options are as he hasn't got his name on your house so technically you aren't obligated to help him money wise, and to me it sounds like you have had enough, social services might be able to provided assisted living or care home options for him depending on what his finances are looking like, if they don't decide to do anything you can say you're kicking him out but I'd suggest saying that if you feel you aren't getting anywhere with them sort of like a last resort which sounds bad but you have to make it known that this is what you have been reduced to. hope this helps💐💐
garage out, or arrange for a charity to take them if the items are still in good condition? I don't know if getting an lpa is needed as you say you own the house and cover the bills etc if anything I think you could ask social services what you're options are as he hasn't got his name on your house so technically you aren't obligated to help him money wise, and to me it sounds like you have had enough, social services might be able to provided assisted living or care home options for him depending on what his finances are looking like, if they don't decide to do anything you can say you're kicking him out but I'd suggest saying that if you feel you aren't getting anywhere with them sort of like a last resort which sounds bad but you have to make it known that this is what you have been reduced to. hope this helps💐💐
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I think you need to remove this man from your life. He is a parasite who has been using you and I can’t imagine how you have tolerated this. I don’t know why you let him drive your car because if he has accident the legal issues will be huge.
I don’t live in UK so won’t advise you about removing him and his junk out of your house and your life. I know this might sound harsh but you don’t say anything good about him and he is causing you huge problems. You do say it is a nightmare.
I guess technically his daughter is his next of kin. And you are not so perhaps you need to get some good legal advice as to how you can evict him.
Please, please, please get some help. Nobody should have to put up with this.
There’s no magic wand I am afraid @tamsibear , but you will get a lot of sympathy and advice on here. I think your kindness has been taken advantage of. It will be a long and thankless journey ahead if you don’t take action now. I think you know in your heart that none of this is acceptable, but just need validation that it needs to change. Take the advice of the wise posters above, and make an action plan. Get in touch with adult SS tomorrow and start the ball rolling. A man with dementia simply “ can’t call all the tunes”. Good luck and keep in touch.
If this man has an untaxed car on your driveway and it's not declared SORN then let the local authority know and they will arrange for it to be towed away. They won't want to know the details of your relationship or his health - it's an untaxed car. It's a straightforward tow away.
If the DVLA has been informed that he should not be driving, you must not let him drive your car. Inform his insurers.
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