PHP:
I know I just have to accept it but I want to understand it. I know there are probably no answers but I can't help but analyse things!
I just don't get it...
- Thread starter Anongirl
- Start date
I know I just have to accept it but I want to understand it. I know there are probably no answers but I can't help but analyse things!
hey I know its hard but I don't think anyone has the answers that you want! the doctors cant even answer all our questions. its hard cos its your mum. Its my BIL that has AD an VD an that's bad enough. I lost my mum to cancer an I remember asking a minister why would god let her suffer so much an he couldn't give me an answer ! sometimes we just have to except that it is what it is. Hope your mum has a good day tomorrow x
Thanks Juniepoonie. I lost a close relative to cancer and I know what you mean. It was very hard to bear but at least I could speak to her about it and understand how she was feeling. The doctors could answer our questions. The brain is so complicated there are so few answers x
Hi 1954. I guess I feel frustrated because mum can't talk to me about how she feels on the bad days. Everything just simply doesn't seem to make sense to her. She has no insight into her illness, I think she just wants to deny anything is wrong. I agree it must very hard for the sufferer. This is why hearing everyone's point of view here is invaluable, sufferer and carer alike. It's difficult for all of us.
I guess I just fear what I don't understand. It makes me feel vulnerable.
X
Hi 1954. I guess I feel frustrated because mum can't talk to me about how she feels on the bad days. Everything just simply doesn't seem to make sense to her. She has no insight into her illness, I think she just wants to deny anything is wrong. I agree it must very hard for the sufferer. This is why hearing everyone's point of view here is invaluable, sufferer and carer alike. It's difficult for all of us.
I guess I just fear what I don't understand. It makes me feel vulnerable.
X
Hi AG, I share your frustration. There's not much about this illness that I understand to be honest. I can't understand my mam's verbal nastiness. Why can't she see that her words are hurtful?
Just about everything to to with Alzheimer's is a big mystery to me. I dearly wish I had some answers for you but all I can say is that you're not alone feeling like this, and to give you a hug, which I hope you will also pass on to your mum, because it's surely a big mystery to her, too xxx
PS - these days my mam is simply too hostile to hug. I can't remember the last time we showed any affection towards each other. Does your mum still let you? If so, grab every opportunity and relish it xx
Just about everything to to with Alzheimer's is a big mystery to me. I dearly wish I had some answers for you but all I can say is that you're not alone feeling like this, and to give you a hug, which I hope you will also pass on to your mum, because it's surely a big mystery to her, too xxx
PS - these days my mam is simply too hostile to hug. I can't remember the last time we showed any affection towards each other. Does your mum still let you? If so, grab every opportunity and relish it xx
You're right CG. She does let me hug her but I think it sometimes takes her by surprise because we've never really been very demonstrative! We've always been close though. Sometimes she says "what was that for?" Ha ha! She does like a hug though. I'm grateful for that.
I'm sorry your mum is still hostile. I really would find that heartbreaking. I think of you often X
I'm sorry your mum is still hostile. I really would find that heartbreaking. I think of you often X
I'm right there with you AG, and now, so is one of my daughters.
It was an innocuous phone call. She rang her nanna, who was making her dinner. "Oh I hope you'll enjoy it" says my daughter. "It's only a corned beef sandwich" replies mum. So daughter says laughingly to jazz it up with salt and pepper, to which mum says, "I've got that stuff on it, what is it? That stuff you know, it's red, I think" daughter says distractingly, "well make it special - cut it into triangles" Mum says "Oh I don't know about that, don't want to be getting ideas above my station!" They both giggle and end the call. Daughter rings me upset because she can't understand how mum can quip that way yet not remember that "the red stuff" she puts on her sandwiches (every single day without fail, for about 4 years!) is cranberry sauce.
I just got back from mums, she was coming across as very lucid, then started on a tale of how she had been into Manchester this morning and had a run-in with a traffic warden (she has never driven and not been into Manchester for a couple of years!). Then as if that convo hadn't happened, returned to the topic we had previously been talking about!
She is clueless, my head is spinning on the other hand!
Gem x
It was an innocuous phone call. She rang her nanna, who was making her dinner. "Oh I hope you'll enjoy it" says my daughter. "It's only a corned beef sandwich" replies mum. So daughter says laughingly to jazz it up with salt and pepper, to which mum says, "I've got that stuff on it, what is it? That stuff you know, it's red, I think" daughter says distractingly, "well make it special - cut it into triangles" Mum says "Oh I don't know about that, don't want to be getting ideas above my station!" They both giggle and end the call. Daughter rings me upset because she can't understand how mum can quip that way yet not remember that "the red stuff" she puts on her sandwiches (every single day without fail, for about 4 years!) is cranberry sauce.
I just got back from mums, she was coming across as very lucid, then started on a tale of how she had been into Manchester this morning and had a run-in with a traffic warden (she has never driven and not been into Manchester for a couple of years!). Then as if that convo hadn't happened, returned to the topic we had previously been talking about!
She is clueless, my head is spinning on the other hand!
Gem x
