I cried again last night.........

[Skye]

The undertakers held a memorial service in the crematorium chapel, for all the people who had died this year.

It was non-religious, though we did sing carols. The readings and poems were all secular, and the undertaker’s wife played solo flute, and sang Away in a Manger. She’s a brilliant musician.

There was a large, undecorated Christmas tree at the front, and we had all been asked to bring a small decoration. We all went up and hung our decorations on the tree, in honour of our loved ones. At the end of the service, we were all asked to go up again, and take a different decoration to hang on out own tree, and to remember the other family.

I was in tears throughout, but what finally broke me up was a wonderful coincidence. My friend Barbara was there with her husband, her mother had died at the beginning of the year. By chance, she chose John’s decoration. It makes me so happy that John will have a place on their tree, they have been such good friends to us both. I cried so much, they thought I was upset they had taken it. The only thing that would have been better would have been if I’d chosen Barbara’s mum’s decoration, but Barbara has promised to see if she can get another and hang it on my tree.

The readings were so moving, I didn’t recognise any of them, but I’ve managed to find one of the poems which really touched me. Please read it if like me you’re dreading Christmas.

http://www.christmas-time.com/cp-wont.html

It was a wonderful service (followed by mulled wine and mince pies), and such a beautiful tribute by the undertakers.

 

[Necion]

Hi Hazel, how nice to hear of your memorial service. Obviously very crefully organised by very loving people. I'm glad you found comfort, and the memory of John will be in Barberas' home too. Take care.
Love, Necion. x

 

[Izzy]

What a wonderful and thoughtful idea. How lovely that your friend chose John's decoration. x

 

[sistermillicent]

That sounds like a really good event to have been to Hazel, I think undertakers can provide a lot of support if they choose to.

I have Christmas decorations that remember things, the baby I lost, the baby i had at Christmas, a happy time with my mum.

I read the poem, and thought, well where is this going, and was blown away by the ending, because Christmas is actually about Christ, and in my view you can't cancel Him.

The nearer we get to Christmas the more I know that I will be thinking of and praying for all those who have lost their much loved family and friends to Alzheimers and other dementia related illnesses.

love
Pippa

 

[elaine n]

What a lovely idea to have that sevice Hazel. I think it's amazing that your friend chose John's decoration, really special. Tears are part of the healing process but sometimes other people see them differently and it worries them but you know differently. xxxxxxxxxxe

 

[Pollyanna]

That sounds like a lovely idea and a very special service. Those there must have gained a lot of strength from each other.

I too have a couple of christmas decorations I've bought to remember people at Christmas.

Christmas isn't easy when you're missing someone and everyone and everything is telling you that you should be happy!

x

 

[noelphobic]

that sounds like a wonderful service Hazel. I haven't seen that poem before but it is lovely (shouldn't say that with my username )

Our local hospice has a service every year around this time. People can make a donation and a decoration is put on the tree in memory of their loved one. A couple of colleagues have had parents who died there. One of them showed me decorations that they sell which are silver stars into which you can put a photo of your loved one to put on your own tree, which I thought was a lovely idea.

 

[Skye]

Thank you so much everyone. I'm glad you liked the poem, it certainly gives me pause for thought. Like you, Brenda, I'm 'noelphobic', have been since I lost my daughter, but this does seem to put another slant on things. I had the same thoughts as you, Pippa, as the poem was read.

I love the idea of the stars with photos, ours had to be completely anonymous. I'd have liked the decorations to stay on the tree, but I suppose that could have been upsetting for people attending funerals next week.

They don't allow cut flowers in the garden, but I'm going to take up a small wreath to lay at John's tree, I think they allow that at Christmas.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts, and I hope Christmas is as good as it can be for you, especially for you Kassy.

Love,

 

[Norrms]

Hiya

Hello my friend and thank you so much for sharing that with us, i just wish we could be there with you and HUG AWAY all you dread at this time of year,lots of warm wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx